March 27, 2010

Silly Billy at the Fancy Shmancy Hotel...

I was away at a conference this week, encompassing three nights in what I gotta admit is a really nice upscale (fancy shmancy) luxury hotel.

As I was arriving, I reached into my wallet to get the credit card to pay the taxi, and holy crap, where the hell is my driver's license? Inside I ransack my clothes and belongings and then panic just a little. No driver's license! I had used it as ID to board the plane, and apparently since then furry little aliens snuck in and stole the damn thing. Or I dropped it as I absentmindedly thought I was properly putting it back in my wallet.

I call the airline and airport, we open a case file for my missing driver's license, the hotel concierge uses their contacts, nada zip zero. My driver's license is never to be seen again...

Yes, I can replace it once I get home (granted, after driving home from the airport license-free). But getting on the airplane to return home without photo ID will be a bit of a problem, no?

So my fiance rushes me my passport, by the mucho expensive overnight Priority Post. All good, no?

The next day I go back to the hotel after my conference, and ask for the courier pack that came for me. Mr Young Friendly Super-Formal Desk Clerk Dude shuffles off to fetch it for me, and comes back all smiles with courier pack in hand...

Me: Oh great you found it...

Desk Clerk Dude: Yes sir I did, just as you expected...

Me: That's great, do I need to sign for it?

Desk Clerk Dude: Actually sir as this was registered and we had to sign for it, we will require photo identification for sign off...

Me: Okay, that is sorta funny, as you are holding my photo ID in that very envelope...

Desk Clerk Dude: You're right, sir, that is funny. Do you have other photo ID?

Me: Well, I have several credit cards and my business card, but no, I don't have other photo ID, because if I did, my fiance would not have had to rush to the post office and pay to express this envelope across the country overnight...

Desk Clerk Dude: I understand, sir, and we do need photo ID as we signed for this envelope...

Me: Well all I have is my company ID card, but I gotta tell you it kind of looks like I made it in my office, because I pretty much did...

Desk Clerk Dude (looking at my magenta coloured company card): Let me ask sir, this doesn't look what we usually require...

Me: So as I understand it you require government issue photo ID in order to claim my only existing government issue photo ID, right...

Desk Clerk Dude: Well I guess that does sound confusing. Let me ask someone...

Me: No, not confusing, just silly. Look, I appreciate your earnestness here, but this is starting to sound like the keystone cops do hotel security. The photo ID you require is literally in your hand, and this is getting frustrating. Can we just open the envelope please...

Desk Clerk Dude (after checking with Desk Clerk Dudette): Sorry to keep you waiting sir, here is your envelope, I know it is unorthodox but can I ask to see the ID after you open the courieur pack?

Me: Yes! Yes you can! That is why the I had the envelope rushed here...

AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

13 comments:

Meliha said...

What a TOTAL idiot.

--Meliha
http://straddling-continents-cultures.blogspot.com/

~Nicole Ducleroir~ said...

Arg! I've had a same experience. I moved from CA to Washington DC, but as a native NYer my license was from that state...and expired. In DC, I tried to renew my license. The woman at the DMV told me I needed proof of my social security number to reapply for the driver's license. I didn't have a copy of my card -- it was in NY. So I was sent to the Social Security office, where I was told I could have a copy of my card if I'd simply show my picture ID....

Thanks for stopping by my blog and following! I look forward to doing the same :)

Vodka Logic said...

omg that is a case of Catch 22 if I ever heard one. Does he not realize that if he opened it he could see you look like the guy on the passport... what an idiot

yona said...

i feel your pain dude..

TICKLEBEAR said...

oh, the irony of it all!! luv' it!!
but do you realise it was a federal crime to let you open the package before ascertaining you were the lawful owner? your mail is legally protected.
for having worked in a customer services in a past life, there are regulations, and the guy abided by them. but one must show some flexibility, and some good judgement... it took him a while to get to it...
do let us know how it goes for the driver's licence.
i remember, a few years ago, when i lost everything at a party, and was stuck with only my passport for id...for 3 weeks. that was fun!!! not...
:D~
HUGZ

Clare and Gary said...

What a Muppet!... Hi from sunny Perth...!!

Stan in NH said...

Our society is so drowned in our efforts to avoid any accountability, we just rely on our rules and regulations, rather than use our brains to exercise good common sense.
Unfortunately, the scenario you described is typical.
But it does make for a great story. Well done.

Brahm said...

Interesting, but I don't think the Canada Post laws apply here, as the package was sent to the hotel attention me, so by them signing for it was already in the hands it was legally sent to, no?

He was just following the letter of the law (hotel law) rather than the idea of customer service...

AAAARGH!

MG said...

ha, ha
that's a funny story

Kate@And Then I Was a Mom said...

So ridiculous. But after all was said and done, you soaked in the super-luxurious hot tub and ordered super-luxurious room service, yes?

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

I could almost here the music as I read your keystone copesque dialogue.

J@v@JuNKo said...

lol that is priceless, certainly a story to remember!!

Sara Plays House said...

This? This right here? This is why I should never travel. Because this kind of shizz ALWAYS happens to me.
Glad you made it back home though!
(It really is too bad you didn't videotape the whole exchange)

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