Comments on alfred lives here: Never lick a steak knife and other words of wisdom from Dave Barry...

I am a great driver. Embrace the bold driving. I ...

2010-09-16T07:21:07.211-06:00

I am a great driver. Embrace the bold driving.

I will concede the sense of direction is not sterling.

Your husband gets his opinion from the passenger s...

2010-09-16T05:05:02.018-06:00

Your husband gets his opinion from the passenger seat of your vehicle.

Oh I love Dave Berry. Have you ever read his piece...

2010-09-14T23:35:01.714-06:00

Oh I love Dave Berry. Have you ever read his piece about prepping for his colonoscopy? I almost wet my pants laughing so hard. I sent it to my husband the night before he had to start prepping for *his* colonoscopy.. you know, because I care and all.

http://www.scribd.com/doc/4895047/My-Colonoscopy-by-Dave-Barry

I disagree with #3. You just have to lick carefull...

2010-09-14T17:08:39.998-06:00

I disagree with #3. You just have to lick carefully. But why would you want to lick it, that's another question. I agree with #5 and applaud him for it. My mom's experienced #6. I have no comment on that one.

Love these - especially no 1 and 8 - me think I sh...

2010-09-14T16:54:33.240-06:00

Love these - especially no 1 and 8 - me think I should be checking him out - you tube here I come :)

from the truly above average driver with 3 and one half years experience :P

Those are great. very funny.

2010-09-14T16:38:06.449-06:00

Those are great. very funny.

Hehe I barely got past no.1 before almost losing m...

2010-09-14T16:07:38.630-06:00

Hehe I barely got past no.1 before almost losing my red wine to the laptop ...
Is 'steak knife' a euphemism? ():-)
I don't know Dave Barry, methinks I should change that! :)

I can't stop thinking that picture looks more ...

2010-09-14T14:52:26.499-06:00

I can't stop thinking that picture looks more like Martin Short, though. I'm easily distracted. Say, where did this paperclip come

so wise. so wise.

2010-09-14T13:10:03.479-06:00

so wise. so wise.

I live by #3. "Never lick a steak knife."...

2010-09-14T12:13:14.561-06:00

I live by #3. "Never lick a steak knife." (Because sometimes that 'knife' refers to some of the people I know.)

I once dated someone guilty of #5. When I told him...

2010-09-14T11:34:34.586-06:00

I once dated someone guilty of #5. When I told him it was over and why he thought it was a lame excuse. Don't ever be rude to waiters! They are in charge of your happiness (cocktails) plus they can spit in your food! ewww!

I love Dave Barry too. And my fantastic-ly awesom...

2010-09-14T09:39:52.745-06:00

I love Dave Barry too. And my fantastic-ly awesome driving skills. And that pregnancy one couldn't be more true. I read one of his books years ago and often laughed out loud to the point of tears while reading.

I better get offa' here though. I'm late for traffic court. ;)

Dave Barry is my hero. It took me like 5 minutes t...

2010-09-14T08:56:43.926-06:00

Dave Barry is my hero.
It took me like 5 minutes to get past #1 on the list because I was laughing so hard.

These are fantastic!! Tuesday morning laughs with...

2010-09-14T08:39:33.076-06:00

These are fantastic!! Tuesday morning laughs with my coffee. Very good!

I learn the most from Dave when he writes about th...

2010-09-14T08:37:48.630-06:00

I learn the most from Dave when he writes about the people who think he's not funny. He never puts his critics down. He makes them funny.

number 4 is so true mroe than any others. I love h...

2010-09-14T08:29:30.665-06:00

number 4 is so true mroe than any others. I love he sayings. Thanks for the laugh this morning.
Hugs
Ray

Uh-huh, sure, of course YOU are an above average d...

2010-09-14T07:58:55.132-06:00

Uh-huh, sure, of course YOU are an above average driver. It is all those other guys.

I too am sure that I am a fabulous driver. Just don't ask my husband, who for some murky groundless reason thinks I am a speedy reckless lane-changing impatient driver. Where does he get that?

I've never heard of Dave Barry but I'm goi...

2010-09-14T07:47:41.157-06:00

I've never heard of Dave Barry but I'm going to go look him up now. Hilarious stuff. And just an FYI...I am an above average driver damn it.

I love him so much! A couple of my faves (Besides...

2010-09-14T05:49:44.790-06:00

I love him so much! A couple of my faves (Besides the one you mentioned about saying a woman is preggos):

"I realize that I'm generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize, I don't care."

"It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin."

"The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates."

Ha ha! I love the one that no matter what happens ...

2010-09-14T03:31:19.192-06:00

Ha ha! I love the one that no matter what happens in life, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously - how true is that?!! Dave Barry is totally awesome!