June 26, 2012

Sicky Sick Sick Sick...

I was sick last week. S.I.C.K.... hot sweats, cold chills, sore raspy throat, runny nose, coughing, sneezing, fever, lack of sleep, all that good stuff. And I was grumpy as hell.

And yes I went to work, because I am crazy busy with and I couldn't think of other options. And I was under the illusion (delusion?) that I was not replaceable.

If I were smarter I would have stayed home. But you gotta do what you gotta do.

So I carried around my Venti Starbucks tumbler filled with lemon NeoCitran (a coworker assumed it was vodka). I popped the 4-to-6-hour cold pills every two hours. I drank gooey watkins cough syrup out of a travel shot glass. Pretending they were jellybeans, I popped another kind of cold medicine that said not to mix with other drugs (uh, whatever). And I took the non-drowsy cold stuff to known me out at night. I suffered and I whined and I got through it.

I could hardly talk for three days... coworkers, friends, and husband, you're welcome.

What did I learn? Drugs are my friend. I am not a good patient. When you are having a tough week at work maybe being legally high is a good way to get through it. I am even less impatient with moronic drivers on the highway when I am downing cold pills with NyQuil.  And my car cannot blow hot air on my feet and air conditioning on my face at the same time.

Things I observed while I am sick: 30 Rock is past its peak. The speedometer on my car jumps around a lot. Even on drugs 2 Broke Girls is not so funny. Our local CBC radio morning guy is not the brightest crayon in the box. And Batman and Robin are totally gay.

One thing I was not able to do while sick? I delayed having my new passport picture taken, because with my shiny red Rudolph nose it looked like I have a nasty crack problem...  when in reality I just have a nasty jellybean problem.... although that sure would have been a hell of a photo to go through customs with!