April 29, 2010
So it is now primetime and I am in the basement with one dog snoozing beside me and the other snoozing on the floor impersonating a very small bearskin rug, and I am flicking channels... and channels... and channels... the luxury of so many choices... WHY THE HELL IS THERE NOTHING TO WATCH?
I saw the new episode of Bones -- one of my favourite shows -- earlier due to the timeshift thing (mmm... gadget!). I don't like Survivor. The news shows are all about Sandra Bullock (really, people, just leave her alone). Nobody should watch The Ghost Whisperer. I do not need to order ProActive skincare. And apparently According to Jim and The Office are on three dozen times a day.
And now as I surf the listings to find something to watch, I discover a whole bunch of quality shows that I truly did not know existed: Sixteen and Pregnant (ick), I Didn't Know I was Pregnant (how the hell?), Poker after Dark, CatDog, Ten Grand In Your Hand, Spooks, and America's Dumbest Criminals (why do they get a show?). Nothing to watch, nothing to watch...
I am just gonna wait for George Snuffleupagus to come on CBC, he apparently has the Courtyard Hounds (ie two of the Dixie Chicks) on. And yes I do have the remedy... clearly we need more channels!
April 27, 2010
...for driving an effing BARBIE CAR drunk!
The car was an electric car designed for toddlers to scoot around their parents' living room, and this dumbass jacked it up and took it out for a spin. After a couple of shots, apparently.
The guy failed a breathalyzer test, a test he has apparently failed before, and now has had his license suspended for three years.
Hey, I know it's totally wrong, but it makes me laugh soooooo much!
Read about it @
April 26, 2010
Loves toys and treats, running off-leash, peanut butter and Greenies, cuddling in the basement, chewing everything, being driven back and forth to daycare, playing with his step-brother Quinn, dangerously barking at big dogs and running away.
Scared of vacuums and large dogs who he has totally provoked...
Cutest dog ever!
April 23, 2010
How totally awesome is that?
Kevin will be introduced this fall, in a Veronica comic book (hey, when did she get her own series). He is the new handsome guy who defeats Jughead in a burger eating contest, which sets Veronica in hot pursuit. Interesting turn-on, Miss Veronica. And maybe too much information.
So yes, boys and girls, it's true, we are everywhere, including in your local comic shop.
I even like how this was done - the company very proudly announced it on their website @ http://www.archiecomics.com/, and then it was covered everywhere - I saw it on CNN this morning. Amazing!
April 22, 2010
April 20, 2010
So in summary --- Cosmo is not informed advice. Cosmo is crap.
April 18, 2010
So... allegedly... on March 25th, when I was driving home from the airport at 11.49 PM I was going a touch above the speed limit. Allegedly... a touch above...
I was tired, it was late, it was snowing, I was the only car on the damn highway, and hey what proof do they have anyway, besides, oh yeah, that grainy murky photo the quality of a Paris Hilton sex tape. The dog ate my homework, the butler did it, it wasn't me!
Despite what same naysayers might think, I am an incredibly safe and cautious driver. I have had like one previous ticket in seven years here, and I think that was for parking illegally. Which I totally did.
My best friend actually thinks I am a too safe and boring driver. Of course that is the same best friend who banged up my car while I was on vacation. My fiance thinks I am a reckless speeder and was smirking joyfully -- even gleefully -- as he handed me the envelope with the ticket.How fast was I going? Barely above the limit. Allegedly 69 km in a 50 zone. Couldn't be me. And by the way, that was also not me rushing the other way on that same highway this morning, heading towards lunch in Red Deer. We were late. I had to pee. And it wasn't me, I wasn't speeding...
And it is a total coincidence that my car is silent and fast and turbo-charged.
So yes even though I think the evidence is totally wrong and I am totally innocent, I am gonna pay the fine online and get it over with. Then I guess I gotta stop saying allegedly... as of June 13th, that is....
April 17, 2010
"Honestly, it wouldn't bother me at all. I wouldn't be shocked or anything. (Husband) Marc even once asked me, What if one of the babies is gay? I said, Who cares? And he was like Yeah, I know, who cares? You just love your kids and want them to be happy."
April 15, 2010
There will be no posts on this blog tomorrow, Friday April 16, in support of the USA's National Day of Silence aimed at preventing anti-GLBT harassment and bullying in schools.
For more info, go to http://wickedgayblog.blogspot.com, or look for the facebook group Gay Bloggers United in Silence.
I will be back over the weekend to spew my opinions into cyberspace....
April 14, 2010
This week they introduced the Double Down, a heap ("breadless sandwich") of bacon, cheese, salt and gooey sauce stuffed between two slabs of fried chicken. So, let me get this right -- no bread, just two servings of fried chicken, clumped together with bacon, cheap gooey cheese, sodium and mystery sauce. My heart is fading just thinking about it. How do you eat this? How many Weight Watchers points is that damn thing?
According the The Globe and Mail online, this is a new high, or low, in the fast food wars, as it is the first menu offering to outdo Wendy's The Baconator. Man, am I behind the times ---- what the hell is a Baconator? Is it a burger the size of Schwarzenegger with bacon and Swiss cheese? And can I get onion rings with that?
It seems like just a couple of years ago that the Burger King's and McDonald's of the world were rushing to get on the healthy wrap, fat-free, salad bar bandwagon. So are those days over, and we are now living in a high carb, high fat, mystery cheese dripping, supersized, deep-fried world? Good thing we don't have any obesity issues in the western world...
I have no problem with KFC doing this -- they are a business, it is a free market, and this will succeed or fail based on its sales. Still, I am curious to see what their healthy offerings are. Is there a Subway beside them in each location?
If this damn thing takes off, it may be enough to bring down Obama's universal health care before it gets started.
The DD is not here in Canada yet. Is that good or bad?
April 13, 2010
April 12, 2010
Ms. Dixie now not only sells Tupperware, she tours her tupperware parties as an interactive (drag) show. You can check her out @ http://www.dixiestupperwareparty.com/. Here's hoping the party comes to my town...
April 9, 2010
What was different about this story? It referred to Sandra Bullock as Jewish, which had never occurred to me. As I was raised Jewish, it is always curious to see who is Jewish or who isn't. Not sure why, just is...
So I googled "Is Sandra Bullock Jewish" and it took me to this site...
Yep, there is a website exclusively devoted to this burning question. At http://www.jewornotjew.com/, you type in someone's name and then you get their rating on what is, for lack of a better label, a Jew-o-meter.
The site assigns actors, models, politicians, etc, a Jew Score. And yep that is what they call it, bring on the matzo ball soup and karnatzel.
They assign the Jew score based on three factors: how Jewish the person is internally (birth family etc), how Jewish the person is are externally (how you act), and how much the Jew or Not Jew people want the person to be Jewish in the first place (sucks to be you, Mel Gibson).
I don't have a Jew score, though would probably be like a 10? Though was born Jewish, and have the culture and mannerism bit down, I don't practice, don't go to synagogue, don't keep kosher, happily accept gifts on all major holidays, marrying a non-Jewish guy, who is yep a guy...Pamela Anderson and Sarah Palin each scored 2 (so not Jews...); and Mel Brooks and Anne Frank scored 15 (Super Jews!). Boy George is a 4. Prince is 4. Madonna is 7. Frank Gehry is a 13.
At the extreme Jew level, other scores of 15: Steven Spielberg, Albert Einsten, The Marx Brothers, a few others.
There are only three people at the extreme non-Jew level with scores of zero: Joseph Stalin, Mel Gibson, and Hitler. Uh-huh...
And no, Sandra Bullock is not Jewish. She scores a 6, though is apparently the most asked about actress on the site. So apparently just because you read it online doesn't mean it is true... who knew?
April 8, 2010
April 6, 2010
Last week I came across a really cool website that promotes a really great cause, and for the icing on the big gay cake, there is Cyndi Lauper all over the damn place...
April 3, 2010
Don't be impressed --- this was not a deep spiritual anti-materialistic political statement, I will have a shiny new MasterCard from another bank soon. This is about lousy customer service and the douchebags who give it...
My card was about to expire, so I got the new replacement card in the mail. Actually I got the letter beforehand telling me the new card was coming and would feature shiny new chip technology, then I got the card, then in mailing number three I got the PIN (the new cards feature a secret number like a bank card in place of a signature, so are more secure).
After I got the third mailing and all those trees had died, I call to authorize the card, and voila, good to go shopping!
The next day I am using the card to pay for my sub sandwich at lunch (I charge everything), and it is declined. I double check the PIN, have someone else check it as well, try the card somewhere else... declined. WTF?
I go to the closest branch of the issuing bank to try at their machine, and there are literally 18 people in line and one machine working, so I leave.
I call their 1-800 number, and after listening to really bad hold music for a really long time, was told by dweeb number one that I must have done something wrong, there is nothing they can do to help, and oh by the way I had not authorized the card correctly............. WTF?
I ask to speak to a manager, get dweeb number two (dwebette?), who tells me that I did something wrong, there is nothing she can do other than suggest I go to the branch again, or she can send me a new PIN by snail mail that will take up to ten business days, during which of course I cannot use my card, and Hey Mr whiny client, get the fuck off the phone now you are wasting my valuable time. Okay she didn't really say that last part, though it sure sounded like that with her tone. And you are a manager in the customer service area?
So I ask what she is prepared to do to fix this, am told to fuck off (again, not literally), then there is nothing left to say and the call ends.
And now I have a shiny sleek new credit card and no way to use it. Which may be good in terms of fiscal responsibility, but is no damn fun.
Still not satisfied... What to do next? I steam for a bit, then send off an email to the bank's customer service area. It is polite and firm. I get an autoreply thanking me for my email and telling me I will hear from a customer service agent within two business days, which is sometime next week.
Okay still no satisfaction.... so I cut the damn card up. It sure felt good. And yes though I know it didn't really change anything, it suuure felt good...