April 27, 2011

Have you lied about seeing The Godfather?

Four out of five people lie about having seen films to impress others, according to new research for lovefilm.com. And the movie most lie about is The Godfather, the classic 1971 gangster family drama, with 30% of respondents having lied about seeing it.

Second on the list is the classic tearjerker Casablanca, which more than one in 10 said they had lied about seeing. Rounding out the top five were Taxi Driver, 2001: A Space Odyssey and Quentin Tarantino's Reservoir Dogs.

Why would people lie? I guess there are just films people don't want to admit not having seen. Why?

I saw The Godfather and loved it, as I did Casablanca, and I liked if didn't love 2001. Though none of them would fall in my all-time faves. Never saw Taxi Driver, always intended too even though do not like Jodie Foster. And Reservoir Dogs is just too violent for me. Why lie about that?

Wouldn't people be more inclined to lie about what they had seen and are embarrassed about, like porn, or Men in Black 2?

I would rather hide some of the movies I have seen over and over, from Star Wars dozens of times, no shame there, to Grease and Austin Powers and Laura...

... and uh, quietly add to that list of movies I watch over and over: Weekend at Bernie's, The Pirate Movie, and Xanadu. I'm not proud people...

April 26, 2011

Alfie's birthday fundraiser for the Humane Society...

Update: with 23 comments, including some comment virgins, 1 new follower, a few clever comments on wanting to follow again, Alfie is gonna round up and make a $40 donation to the Humane Society to help out pooches and other pets in need... thanks all!

My first pic of Alfie, his cute little puppy self. He was about 6 pounds then, and is about 16 pounds now. And yes he has grown into his large head.

Alfie posing for the camera. He's never one to shy away from attention!

Halloween last year... Brokeback Alfred!

Buenos Dias Alfredo...
Today is the little dude's fourth birthday!

So I am gonna give a big hug to my baby, Alfred, also known as: Alfie, Alfredo, Alfie-Poop, Furball, Little Dude, ADD Alfred, Beagle Wannabe, The Instigator, The Cutest Dog in the World...

As I know that Alfie is more pampered than your average pooch, we are gonna celebrate his birthday by raising money for the Humane Society. For every comment left on this post today, April 26, we will donate $1 from Alfie's allowance. And for every new follower, $2 to the Humane Society. How much money will Alfie raise? Leave a comment and help shake the little dude's piggy bank!

April 24, 2011

Moving Days, Moving Daze

This is it, the big week 18 months in the making...

We are moving into our new house! Talk about a long time coming. K and I weren't even engaged when we started this one, and now we have been married for nine years (uh, eleven months, I was rounding up).

Between this house, and freeing my stuff that's in storage for the past year, we have movers for two days. And then new delivery of our new red leather sofa, pick up of our white leather stools, appliance delivery and installation, telephone install, sound system hook-up, blah, blah, blah. It really is a moving week.

I think we are organized. I think we are on top of it. There have been a few hiccups, such as cable tv and internet are more than a week after we move in (what? how the hell am I gonna watch Glee?), and the refrigerator and stove are back ordered (hello, Mr Pizza delivery man!), but overall I think we are on track... until maybe now:

TLC, the cable channel that used to be all about learning (uh, The Learning Channel), and is now home to crappy reality shows like Kate Plus 8 and I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant, still wants to teach us something, so posted five tips for planning a move on their website:

5: Make a Master List of Moving Tasks: We both have lists of appointments, deliveries, financial stuff, change of address notifications, etc. I have a folder of just my lists. A master list of all our lists would take too much time. I'm busy, people.

4: Line Up Your Friends to Help You Move: even if you hire movers, says TLC. Uh, no. We have lots of crap and we hired movers. Plus, we like our friends.

3: Read Up on How to Drive a Rental Truck: Hired movers, they presumably come with a big truck. We will buy them lots of coffee and timbits though. Trust me, it works.

2: Have Rugs, Drapes and Slipcovers Cleaned: None of any of this --- hardwood floors, blinds, no slipcovers. Can we count this as done then? Are there points for this quiz?

1: Purge: Whaaat? I didn't eat that many jelly beans on Friday! Oh, ok, purge our stuff... so we did some of this before I moved in, and then with a garage sale last summer, and still there is more, so yes we are likely moving in too much stuff. There will be a sell-off at some point. And maybe I did eat that many jelly beans, so? It was National Jelly Bean Day. That is serious stuff.

Be sure to come back here Tuesday the 26th. I'll be busy moving, but it is Alfie's birthday --- the little dude is four! --- and this blog will be a fundraiser for the Edmonton Humane Society. Check it out!

April 22, 2011

Happy National Jelly Bean Day...

Forget all those other so-called special occasions, forget that today is Good Friday... today April 22 is a holiday of major importance... National Jelly Bean Day!

How do you celebrate? National Jelly Bean Day is a time to enjoy gobs and gobs of jelly beans. While they are especially popular at Easter, jelly beans are popular year round.

While my extensive research, also known as a five-second Google search, did not discover the origin of National Jelly Bean Day, I would guess Ronald Reagan had something to do with it. That guy loved his jelly beans!

Fun fact: Jelly beans date back to at least the 1860's. Advertisements promoted sending jelly beans to Union troops fighting in the Civil War. The original candy maker is unknown. Once again, I would guess Ronald Reagan. That guy was really old when he was President.

Jelly bean flavours are limited only by the imagination of candy makers. If you've never enjoyed the multitude of flavors in a box of gourmet jelly beans, I suggest you head right out to the store and buy yourself some. And buy a box for me too. My jellybean gumball machine is empty (and yes I really have one of those).

Fave flavours? I like licorice, green apple, sour cherry and root beer. What's your favourite flavour?

April 19, 2011

A movie theatre for dogs?

I love our dogs, Alfie and Quinn. They are totally pampered. In your next life, you may want to come back as them. However, some things are just too much...

Like this one: Sweden has opened its first-ever cinema for dogs so that pet pooches can accompany their owners to the movies. Really? So in addition to the sticky floors and loud people and twelve-dollar soda, I now get the pleasure of other peoples pets barking and whining and shedding all over the damn theatre? Uh, pass.

This brilliant idea is part of the 2011 Swedish Pet Fair held in Stockholm, so for a limited time only. "To our knowledge, this is the first time that dogs have been allowed to attend a movie screening. Of course, all pets are welcome," Gerd Lindén, project manager at the Pet Fair, said in a statement.

"As long as it is the family's best friend, we promise not to discriminate against moviegoers and welcome both reptiles as well as fish in aquariums," he added. Awesome idea, dude, you should come to the movies carrying your fucking aquarium.

According to an American Kennel club survey, 87 percent of all pet owners say their pets watch TV. I don't think ours do, although they do react to dogs on screen and bark back at them. Loudly.

As for the pet movie theatre people, yes the first film they showed was Marmaduke. Geez, Nothing predictable there...

April 17, 2011

This Is Trouble?

All I can say is "Holy crap, really...?"

This picture is from English-German vocabulary book which went with a usage of the word "trouble" that might get it into some big trouble of its own.

I'm not sure how things are in Germany, granted traditionally not the most open-minded and accepting of people, but, uh, over here things have changed, and interracial dating is something most fathers pretend to be OK with.

What the hell would they say if Audrey was dating a black woman?

from www.someecards.com

April 14, 2011

2 dogs, 3 weeks, 9 lessons...

While my husband is touring Peru, I am home leading my glamorous life: scooping poop in the backyard, using the shopvac to suck up barrels of filthy melting snow, vaccuming the stairs while the beagle walks behind me and body shakes his fur...

So three weeks alone with Alfie and Quinn has taught me stuff. Big stuff. Life lesson stuff:

1- If you're gonna get up really early, you better go to bed really early.

2- Take long naps and big stretches before rising.

3- Loving grandparents are awesome babysitters.

4- Cuddle.

5- Get petted any chance you get.

6- Be obedient when it suits you.

7- Let people know how you feel; wear your emotions on your face and on your butt.

8- Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.

9- When you are happy, show it: dance and wag your whole body!

April 12, 2011

My new favourite video...

The Power of Words... this was forwarded to me and I thought was so smart and so simple and so touching. Enjoy!

April 10, 2011

Adam: see this movie!

Some flicks never really get onto our radar, what with all the Charlie Sheen news Shrek sequels, and quality Arthur remakes that get our attention.

Adam is one of those lost flicks, and I just saw it, and it's a gem.

Adam is about love, though not in your typical When Adam Meets Cute Chick kind of way. Adam starts with the idea that with all its heartbreak, awkward moments and miscommunication, love is simply put, hard.

Throw in Asperger Syndrome, a high-functioning form of autism characterized by an inability to read what other people are thinking and feeling, and things get elevated to an entirely new level, and that’s exactly what happens when Adam, a shy, socially sheltered, yet extremely bright and enthusiastic man meets Beth, an aspiring children’s book author who moves in next door.

With his personality quirks and odd behavior that Beth can’t seem to figure out, Adam is worlds away from the men she’s known before, and a chemistry between the two begins brewing. Adam charms her with his fascination of a family of raccoons in Central Park and makes a virtual solar system in his apartment for her, while Beth begins to teach Adam the ways of the world. Though whether the relationship survives remains to be seen, the result is a humorous and unconventional relationship that breaks the mold of cliched and cookie cutter romantic comedies.

There are lots of highlights to this one, from the spotlight on Asperger Syndrome to the sweetness and the comedy, and the standout is Hugh Dancy, who I knew only as Mr Claire Danes and from Confessions of a Shopaholic; his versatility shines when he portrays all the characteristics of Asperger’s in relation to Adam and those around him. You feel Adam’s pain and share his laughter.

This is one fine romantic comedy that does not fall under the curse of its genre – it’s original and funny. From Adam trying to clean Beth’s windows in a NASA space suit, to Beth’s awkward introduction of Adam to her parents, Adam will make you laugh, smirk and exercise your strength to control heavier emotions. It’s the type of romantic comedy you can appreciate, without it leaving a bad aftertaste in your mouth.

April 7, 2011

5 Better Ideas For Royal Wedding Crap...

It's Royal Wedding time... yeah, yeah, I know, big frigging deal. While technically the Royal Family is our royal family here in Canada, I don't feel the attachment... she's wearing his mom's ring, he isn't wearing a ring, her blue engagement dress is the hottest look of the season, why the hell do I know this stuff? Whoop de doo.

As with previous royal weddings, there is merchandising galore, like Disneyland without the mouse ears. I've seen ads for jewellery, china, key chains, teapots, biscuit tins, t-shirts, clocks, teddy bears, coins, Kiss Me Kate beer, coffee mugs, thimbles, and even Will & Kate barf bags. Classy barf bags aside, this stuff seems predictable and tame to me. These ideas are way better...

1- Royal Family Condoms: protect your scepter with THE family jewels; hey, these kids have been living together for years, they gotta be using condoms, or...

2- Her Majesty Birth Control Pills: elegantly packaged in a crown-shaped pill dispenser.

3- Prince Charles and Camilla Bobblehead's: Hey their noggins are are pretty big anyhow, might as well stick them on a spring.

4- Duke of York Organic Dog Treats: why should Alfie be left out of the hoopla?

5- Howard Stern and Bette Midler's Video History of the Royal Family: because they'd be raunchy and funny as hell...

April 5, 2011

You've Got Mail, Expensive Mail...

I just came home to the biggest credit card bill of my life. So big that I think my jaw literally dropped. Three paychecks big.

Holy crap! I was so sure the bill was wrong, filled with bad charges. And uh no it wasn't wrong, all totally real charges -- appliances for the new house, movers, upgrades to my new car, a surprising number of pitas for lunch.

So I get this mammoth bill first, and I don't get all the good stuff that I am waiting for. What the hell, Canada Post? Could we speed this pony express up a little?

Here's what is coming...

1- The Big Bang Theory Season 2 DVDs, to follow up my one day full Season 1 marathon.

2- The new bluetooth thingamajig I ordered for my car.

3- American Express Rewards $171 gift card to go spend on something frivolous which I totally do not need.

4- Flat Stanley, coming from my friend MaryMac and her daughter Faith (I'll post pics when His Flatness is here).

5- My invitation to the upcoming Royal Wedding* *this last one may not actually be on its way...

So yep all this fun stuff on its way, and what do I get first? The world's biggest visa bill. That blows! What will be next... oh, probably the damn MasterCard statement...

April 3, 2011

Jimmy Fallon's Best Prank Ever...

My secret boyfriend Jimmy Fallon is cute and smart and funny. And his TV show is on way the hell too late at night, so it's a good thing that with our hundreds of cable channels everything repeats over and over.

For April Fool's Day, my Jimmy did one of his twitter "hashtag" campaigns where he asked viewers to tweet in with their Best Prank Ever. I had nothing to send in, because apparently I am way too boring and too nice to pull pranks on people. And I spend a lot of my time in the basement eating popcorn watching Golden Girls marathons.

I couldn't even conjure up this stuff... these people are funny and mean and awesome.

Here's some of what people sent in:

Replaced my friend's shoes with same pair but two sizes bigger, so he thought his feet were shrinking.

Took out an ad on craigslist for free Siamese kittens and put my brother Paul's number. He said he got 40 calls a day.

Peed in roommate's Polo cologne, kept telling him that he smelled like pee. He said it's just the way Polo smells.

Went on my roommate's facebook and sent a relationship request to his mom.

Right before a showing, set up a crime scene at a friend's house he was selling. Police tape and bloody chalk body included!

Put an ad in paper while friend was out of town advertising "Free Christmas Tree Recycling" & put his address.

Convinced my foreign girlfriend that a douchebag was what you asked for at a restaurant when you wanted the leftovers to go.

Put 3 pairs of shoes and 3 pairs of trousers in the stalls in a 3-stall bathroom so nobody could poop all day.

and my absolute favourite, the best use of auto-correct ever...

Changed coworkers email spell check to change "the" to "ass" whenever typed.

April 1, 2011

Love Happy Bunny, Hate These Jerks...

Sometimes people annoy me because they are stupid (Sarah Palin), or bigoted (Sarah Palin), or just goofy (hmm... Sarah Palin). And sometimes there isn't a really logical reason for the annoyance, it's just a visceral "I don't like you" kind of thing.

Happy Bunny makes me smile, and yes sometimes in a mean funny way. These other jerks do not make me smile. Some I have reasons for, others not so much... logic schmogic.

1- Rush Limbaugh: anti-woman, anti-gay, anti-choice, anti-Muslim ranter: Liberals should not be allowed to buy guns, nor should they be allowed to use computer keyboards or typewriters, word processors or e-mails, and they should have their speech controlled. If we did those three or four things, I can’t tell you what a sane, calm, civil, fun-loving society we would have."

2- Jarrod the Subway guy: Get a real job, dude.

3- Victoria Jackson: actress-turned-homophobe who gets press for saying things like: Did you see 'Glee' this week? Sickening! ...I don't care what is politically correct. Everyone knows that two men on a wedding cake is a comedy skit, not an 'alternate lifestyle'! There I said it! Ridiculous!

4- Halle Berry: yep she is beautiful, and gave a good performance in Monster's Ball, but what has she done for us lately? Crappy movies, endless commercials, and a vapid "I am rich and beautiful" gaze over the peons. Go away.

5- Donald Trump: Bad hair, bad ethics, cheesy Celebrity Apprentice, petty fights with other celebs, homophobic comments, and now a weird presidential run where is asking for Obama's birth certificate. You're fired.

And yes I have left "WINNER!" Charlie Sheen off this list... just too easy. Who annoys you?