August 8, 2010

Stupid things that annoy the crap out of me, part four

Sometimes life is amazing. And sometimes it blows chunks of smelly moist crap. And sometimes even when life is great, there are those stupid whiny moronic things and people and comments who annoy the crap out of me...

1- Supermarkets who screw us over with mislabelling. I just saw this expose on CBC about Canadian supermarkets mislabelling fresh fish and substituting cheaper fish or endangered - yes, endangered- fish for what is supposed to be in there. Smug bastards. I know I am getting screwed somehow.

2- The President's Choice ice cream personality test at icecreamshop.pc.ca: I am a banana split? Really? Because I am "a treat to be around"? Blech. I am no frigging treat. Could be worse, I guess you could have said I am something sickening sweet like bubblegum flavoured.

3- Mel Gibson. For sooo many reasons...

4- Andrew Giuliani, son of former mayor Rudolph Giuliani. And nope, I don't know him either. He annoys me because he is a jerkwad example of stupid trivial lawsuits. This douchebag goes to Duke university, where he was cut from the golf team. SO HE SUED THE UNIVERSITY.

5- That Slap Chop infommercial guy. Stop yelling!

6- Tae Kwon Do monkeys who attack their trainers (yes really, I don't make this shit up).

7- Dogs who bark at wind. And vacuums. And people walking by on the street. Not that I am naming names...

8- Gay activist Larry Kramer, who this week publicly trashed his former friend Barbra Streisand. Shape up, dude... gay men do not trash a diva!

9- Lindsay Lohan. At a certain age, and you are there, babe, bad parenting and teenage stupidity expire as excuses. Shut up and go away forever.

10- Guys with mullets and rat tails wearing wife beaters who smoke cigarettes while driving their red pick-up trucks. There's like 18 things wrong with this, and this was my view on the way home the other day...

11- Smally furry dogs who empty 15 toys out of the toybox (yes, he has a toybox) and spread them all over the floor to then choose one to play with, abandoning the others spread out everywhere; who trained you anyhow?

12- People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is, jerkwad, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?

31 comments:

inannasstar said...

I think you should totally point at your crotch and ask where the bathroom is the next time jerkwad points to his wrist while asking you what time it is.

Gigi said...

Loved your list - and yes, Lindsay, please grow up or go away or both.

Nicki said...

I clicked on your blog just as I was listing all the things that irritate me in my head! I live in New York and I am a conservative so I can't agree with some of the stuff you have but all the rest........I am with ya!!!! Although, I have to say that you can't be mad at that pooch for too long...he is adorable!! Great pic in the previous post!

Nicki said...

Sorry. My mistke. It was 2 posts ago, not the previous one. He is still cute anyway!

Will Burke said...

Oh, I'm totally going to do that next time someone asks for the time!

Nicki said...

Crap! Mistake. Do people who keep commenting on your blog over and over to explain errors in their previous comments annoy you too? Just wondering.

Mrsblogalot said...

I think next time that happens you should point to your elbow and ask where the bathroom is then just sit back and enjoy his confusion.

Sometimes it really is just the little things.

Vodka Logic said...

7 and 9 no doubt. Barking dogs and LL make me cringe...

Is that dog named Alfred by any chance. :)

Linda Medrano said...

My dogs bark, but mainly Harry (Prince Harry) who is "delicate". He's afraid of wind, afraid of trees, afraid of "the country" and quite frankly, I have to agree with him on a lot of these things.

Lauren said...

I dunno... do you point at your crotch? I was temporarily afraid that's where you kept your watch. How awkward would that be? Okay I just giggled. But in real life, it would be awkward.

Now, off I go to sue my university for not even having a golf team! Justice Away!

Cogent Ascending said...

I really thought the rat tail and mullet fad had passed until I saw an entire tourist travel group come to the hotel with trucker hats, mullets, and rat tails. Several wore shirts that said "I heart Nancy Grace." I wanted to cry.

Penny Lane said...

Agreed.

Eric Arvin said...

#11. Haha!

bmat10 said...

If you are going to teach a monkey Tae kwon do you pretty much have to assume they are going to go after their trainers, wouldn't you? Don't move to Central Pa, a rather large percentage of the population are examples of your number 10.

Café Chick said...

Ha ha - I love the one about pointing to your watch. After years of receiving blank looks when asked "what instrument do you play?" and replying "keyboards", I must confess I'm often guilty of playing a few notes on my imaginary air keyboard to show people what a keyboard player does ... and then I catch myself in the act and think that if someone's too dumb to know what a keyboard is, I won't be talking to them again anyway so no point in 'demonstrating', lol!

injaynesworld said...

# 12 LMAO!!!

And Dixie does the same thing with her toys. She'll bring them one-by-one into my office while I'm working until I stop and play with her. Little dogs are the best.

HappyHourSue said...

OOOOh u could have come with us!!!!!! SO fun. Here's why we love the gay bars: Walked into Gansevort - uber hip straight bar - the night before... before we even ordered our first drink, some guido informed us we should see the view from the terrace cuz we"ll "cream our pants". NO LIE.

For the love of christ.

Love ur blog...love ur dog :)

Brahm (alfred lives here) said...

Hey Nicki - (laughing) no, that does not bug me at all - I just love that people are reading and commenting. And you don't have to agree with all my opinions -- give me time, maybe you will someday...!

And yep I saw the rat tail and mullet last week when I was driving and the vision of 1972 pulled up beside me at a red light.

And Sue - I hope to be there next year!

Brahm (alfred lives here) said...

And there are really "I heart Nancy Grace" t-shirts? Yikes. I think I may actually puke...

Rusty Hoe said...

Personally I would say people who give their children mullets and rat tails annoy me way more than the adults. They might as well brand "loser" on their kids foreheads, cause that's what they are creating for them.

middle child said...

Re: #11 - SOMEone has not trained their dog. A well mannered dog will do as Belle does. She will take one toy out at a time and gently lay it right there on the floor until she gets to the one she wants. We are still working on getting her to pick-up her ice cream cup and toss it in the trash. She comes close but drops it about 4" under the top of the can.

Brahm (alfred lives here) said...

Holy crap your dog really does that? You are pulling my leg...

TICKLEBEAR said...

of course, he had to speak of MEL!!!...
again...
:D~
#12: back in the days i was raving, not raving mad, going to raves, i used a gesture to tell my friends i was leaving to get a bottle of water by extending the thumb and little finger and pointing the thumb at my mouth; and doing the same gesture but pointing the little finer 9no comments here...) up from my crotch to signify i was going to the loo. speaking was near impossible as the music played so loudly. so yes, i did point to my crotch... but it's all a matter of context.
;)~
HUGZ

Midwestern Mama Holly said...

Great list!

Annie (Lady M) x said...

Blimey, I can sympathise about the barking dog thing. My dog, Naughty George, woofs at people. So whenever anyone comes round, it descends into chaos with him woofing and jumping up at the people coming through the front door....then the kids start crying because they are frightened, and the parents are trying to push him away....

Nicki said...

You are funny...I will agree with you all the time in time. =) Either way, I look forward to your entries (spell checking before I hit "post comment)!

Kevin said...

There's a President's Choice Ice Cream Personality Test? Who knew? Oh, you knew ... hehehe Watch out for the banana peel, honey.

pattypunker said...

my three pugs have a toy box and make a pre-school sized mess all over, too. don't cha love it! they also bark at the wind. which i figure is more evolved than me because i chase the wind.

ps: i've missed you. so glad we hooked up again. mwuah!

The Absence of Alternatives said...

I love it when you are mad! The last one about the watch makes me LMAO. Next time when I want to ask somebody else for the time, I am going to mime the action of taking a pocket watch out from the pocket on my invisible vest. And about your dog choosing a toy... Have you considered the possibility that HE may be like say the Dalai Lama within the Dog Kingdom? Weren't they chosen that way?

Brahm (alfred lives here) said...

I am glad you love it when I get mad --- seems to happen more and more as I get older. Maybe I am getting crankier? Nah, can't be me.

MMH said...

I'm liking your lists. Keep writing it all down.

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