August 25, 2010

Stupid Things That Annoy The Crap Out Of Me, Special Travel Edition...


This was supposed to be an easy one, a single flight for a three-day business trip, a direct flight that I do every couple of months -- pack Kindle for reading, bring ear buds in case there is a decent movie to watch, buy overpriced water and diet coke at the airport because they are gonna ignore you when flying in the cheap seats.

So what could be annoying about something that is pretty much a semi-regular routine? Hmmm...

1- When boarding the plane, you have to show ID except if you under 18. And you prove that how, if ID not required? We are trusting teens with the honour system now?

2- Jerkwads who carry on waaay more baggage than they should. The restriction is two small items, buddy, not three huge hockey bags. I think that last one may have a corpse in it, by the way.

3-Flight attendants not in uniform. I DON'T EFFING KNOW YOU WORK HERE! You, the glum faced young woman blocking my seat, is this your job?

4- Jerk beside me who keeps asking me for headphones over and over. Already told you I brought these from home. Do I look like Radio Shack? Or do you think we are gonna share this pair?

5- Annoying nameless airline - okay, Air Canada, - who boasts you can watch the entertainment system gate to gate, then has me sit through all the ads and sponsor crap, only to restart the system and have me sit through all the ads and sponsor crap again. Aaaargh!

6- Commercials for accountants who are trying to brand the career as cool by showing us one hip young CMA. One. They found one.

7- Jerkwad passengers who ignore announcements. Hey Mr Seat 15A, they called you five times to upgrade you to first class. Don't want the seat? I'll take it, thank you very much.

8- Bowling teams who wear neon blue shirts and travel in packs.

9- The programmer who selects episodes 14 and 16 of Two and a Half Men to feature on the plane. Episode 14 was part one of a two-parter, buddy. I was emotionally invested...

10- Waiting 34 minutes --- and yes I timed it --- at the carousel for my luggage. What, did you take our bags on a guided tour of the city in the meantime? Maybe the dude carrying on everything he owns wasn't so wrong after all...

23 comments:

injaynesworld said...

10 fine reasons why I don't fly.

bmat10 said...

Sounded like a good trip. When I moved from Vancouver to Pa the movie they played on the plane was 'Of Mice and Men" So not only was I upset about leaving a province and country I loved. I was leaving everything I knew, friends, job, home. It was nice that the airline topped it off by playing one of the saddest movies on the planet. (okay they didn't know what I was going through, but still every body on the plane was crying). I was a wreck by the time they landed. (oh and my connection flight took off before the plane I was on landed. and no, my current plane was not late). What a nightmare,

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I guess now is not the time to tell you that the last time I flew, my bag was Number One on the carousel. YES!!! It's like winning the lottery!

Michael Rivers said...

Very well said! The carry on luggage DRIVES ME CRAZY!! The airlines can start limiting this any time!

Jason said...

Number 5 would drive me crazy! I hate being forced to watch tv ads!

Lauren said...

I've never flown... but I have worked in a bowling alley. I can sympathise with the shirts and the fact that they tend to travel in packs. Picture them hungry and me alone in the kitchen. -shivers-. I hope you had a good business trip (is that possible?) to make up for the crappy flight.

Midwestern Mama Holly said...

Screaming kids and crying babies and the parents who pretend they cant hear them!

Big Hint Here- Im on Kindle now.. juss sayin

andygirl said...

oh man oh man I know! my last job required a lot of travel. and oh boy is that a clusterfuck.

I love to travel. I hate the getting there and coming home. working on teleportation. who's with me?

Mrsblogalot said...

If we are going to be driven crazy, we'll do our own driving thank you.

No need to fly to get aggravated when we got it covered right here on the ground right? (-:

Annie (Lady M) x said...

34 minutes for your luggage..... that's not too bad when you look at how long it takes at Heathrow. More than once I have waited over an hour. The place is a complete joke!

Bummer about the two-part show! Who's idea was that then?

Nicki said...

Thanks so much for this post! I needed the laugh (sorry it was at your expense) and it relates to me well as I board a plane today. One episode of a 2 parter? These people are either idiots or are bitter and knew exactly what they were doing! My flight will only be about 50 minutes so I am stressing about the carry on thing. Hmmm...pack shit that they will take away from me (shampoo, lighter, lube) on the carry-on or check it and risk my luggage getting lost YET AGAIN??? The drama.

JenniferfromLaJolla said...

Funny!!! Though not to you probably...

If you plan on visiting San Diego be prepared to wait at least 34 minutes for your baggage to appear. And that's on a good day.

Brahm (alfred lives here) said...

Debra your bag was first off? Aaaargh! Uh, I mean happy for you.

I like being other places, I just don't like the part of getting there. Whoever said it's all about the journey was a moron.

Gill said...

Lol ... I once flew from Newcastle (UK) to Amsterdam, a flight that lasts 1 hr 20 mins - and waited over 3 hours for my suitcase! Apparently there were so few people on my flight, the jerkwad (I like that word!) ground crew wouldn't bring the luggage as it 'wasn't worth the extra ride out to the plane' ... like we believed THAT excuse! More like they 'temporarily misplaced' the contents of the hold!
Madness.

Singlemama said...

Jackasses. Why would anyone ever trust teens?! That's just asking for trouble. Also, the last time I flew I had to do so risking my life. I wasn't able to buckle up at all because mcFatty was sharing a seat with me, literally. I hate to fly.

Jabacue said...

I find flying totally frustrating....sure you get there quickly. But is it worth it? You are a wreck on arrival!
Jim

Wupppy said...

i love how at the end of reading your post, Google Reader placed an advertisement for Malaysia Airlines,hihi.

madtexter (corey james) said...

Ha! I'll have to write down my observations the next time I'm on a plane. Although I don't think they'll be much different from what you observed.

I'll never understand why every airplane seems to be full of people who seem like they've never flown before. It makes you just wanna pop the emergency exit like that flight attendant did a few weeks ago.

Elly Lou said...

I love it when they sell you the headphones (cause you forgot yours...again) and then the entertainment system is broken. Asshats.

Brahm (alfred lives here) said...

Asshats indeed!

And speaking of asshats, google placed an ad for Malaysia Airlines? Interesting choice, never been there, never flown with them, they are of course an airline, and not showing much love to the airlines here --- I guess that is the themed randomness of the interwebz!

Mike said...

Hey - thanks for checking out my blog!

My fiancee and I flew out to the West Coast last fall. It was my fist time on a commercial plane, and I wasn't happy about it. I don't do well in cramped spaces, surrounded by cranky people, for long periods of time. Luckily, I didn't encounter any of the types of folks you describe here. I might have had to punch them in the throat.

Wicked Shawn said...

My last flight went fine. The one before there, the 3 year old in the seat beside me decided I should marry his dad. He talked to me for the entire 2 hour flight. He loves Batman, coloring, swimming, catching crickets and fireflies, and his dad is his best friend. He also thinks that flying is really cool, he gets to do it every.......yes, it is possible for your ears to bleed from pure exhaustion.

Kevin said...

That's why it is better to fly at the front of the plane, honey (First Class or Business Class). Oh, and Malaysia Airlines is a wonderful airline!

Post a Comment

Comments are like chew toys and favourite treats. Alfie says thanks!