October 20, 2011

My horoscope is weird and creepy...

As a black-and-white sometimes overly pragmatic guy, I am not a big believer in things like fortune telling and horoscopes, though I added a daily horoscope to my twitter account out of curiosity and for entertainment value.

That being said, I am a Gemini, and I do tend to have two opinions on everything, which coworkers tend to call me on, especially when they are looking for one firm plan. Hey, I like to have options.

The other day this is what was tweeted out to me by the elves at tarot.com as my horoscope (okay the 'tarot' should have been a red flag)

It's difficult for you to slow down enough to sink into your emotions, especially if you're afraid of what you might discover. Once you let the distractions fade away, you could be pulled into the dark recesses of your imagination where a clever turn of phrase isn't sufficient to bring you back into the light. If, however, you have the courage to be patient, negativity will dissipate and you will return with treasures from your journey within.

Okay, now maybe I have been watching too many Criminal Minds serial killer marathons, but isn't this weird and creepy and disturbing? What the hell happened to horoscopes that talked about Oreos and bunnies and rainbows?

The dark recesses of my imagination? Afraid of what I might discover? Holy crap, what the hell is going to happen? Uh, oh yeah, I don't believe this stuff...

And the worst part of it: "...a clever turn of phrase isn't sufficient to bring you back into the light"... some days I get through life based on a big smile and a clever turn of phrase, what the hell am I gonna do now?


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