January 22, 2012

Alfie for President 2012!


Even here in Canada, the upcoming US election is everywhere; if it weren't for Keystone controversy and Mark Wahlberg idiocy, we would have the election on an endless frigging loop of coverage.

As a Canadian I don't get to vote in this election, as I have to choose among our own political morons not yours. I would clearly be a democrat. Maybe less enthusiastically than four years ago, but still steadfast.

Sure, in some ways Obama has been a disappointment, though in his defence he has had every hurdle possible tossed at him, and done lots of good stuff. Here's a good idea I have seen out there.. how about Hillary as Veep?

The ever-shortening list GOP candidates now consists of elitist dog abuser Mitt Romney, weirdly amphibian-named adulterer New Gingrich, out-of-touch Ron Paul, and medieval homophobe Santorum (you gotta google him).

So here's a better alternative... Alfred for President!

He is cute (okay not a prerequisite for Prez, look at Nixon)... he likes everyone... he has a tax-free financial plan (his Dad supports him)... and everyone likes him. Alfred the candidate is in favour of universal healthcare, true education reform, marriage equality, better relations with Cuba (land of his ancestors) and stronger pooper scooper laws. And he's smarter than Rick Perry.

Okay, there are technical problems that disqualify him, like at age four he isn't old enough and he was born in Canada, however he'd still be a better independent choice than Donald Trump...

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