September 16, 2011

Fortune Cookie Wisdom...


On a crazy busy day last week a coworker and I hopped over to the food court, and rather than my usual salad or sub, we went to the new Chinese fast food place and overdosed on flat noodles and garlic.

The fun part of the meal was the fortune cookies. Sure the cookies taste like stale damp cardboard, but the fortunes are always silly fun.

Here's my fortune:
A wacky invention will lead to your success.

Here's the problemo ---- I'm not much of an inventor, unless combining Licorice Allsorts, popcorn and kosher salt counts as "inventing" something. Not only do I not invent things, I don't think of things to invent.

Then again, my fortune doesn't say that I need to invent things... it just speaks of wacky inventions... so if I could invent things, or if inventions I wanted could magically appear, here's what they would be:

And these are WACKY inventions, so no serious stuff about world peace etc...

1- A robot elf to clean our house, more than a roomba, it should dust and vacuum and please god scrub the toilets.

2- Another magical elf to exercise for me; and yes the pounds fall off me not Mr Elf (that's the magic part).

3- A car that washes and fills itself with gas, with a special attachment to powerblast away the insect genocide on the front grill after every long highway drive.

4- A pooper scooper that does it all.

5- The power to magically block out the song "Der Kommissar" from any radio station I listen to; hell while we're at it, let's block all things Lohan from my life entirely.

On second thought, I need a personal assistant with magical powers, not a wacky invention... where's the moola for that, oh fortune cookie?

What wacky inventions would you want?

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