June 11, 2010

Oh no! I can't look away from trashy "True Beauty" TV show...

Stuck in a hotel room on a business trip this week, and still battling the remnants of the western world's worst flu, I crashed in my hotel room and spent a little bit of time -- hours and hours and hours -- channel surfing while enthusiastically exceeding the recommended dosage on my medication.

What caught my eye, sandwiched between the crap I will watch, like Two and Half Men, and the crap I won't watch, like infomercials for Victoria Principal's skincare line, was a show I had never seen before... the amazingly trashy if good-hearted True Beauty.

It was like an pile-up on the highway, I knew instantly I should look away and go forward, and yet I could not bring myself to action, I sat there for the balance of the hour watching this crap fest.

So what is the instant classic True Beauty? This is the second season of the reality show where beautiful young men and women live together on camera and compete to see who will be deemed the most beautiful, with one being eliminated and sent home each week. It is Survivor meets The Apprentice meets America's Next Top Model meets Paris Hilton meets Make Me A Supermodel meets Us Weekly meets something even fluffier and stupider that I can't think of. The prize is a hundred grand and being featured in People magazine's "Most Beautiful" issue.

So these guys and gals basically sit around looking pretty, talking about how pretty they are, and trashing everyone else for not being as pretty. There are some nominal tasks, which I totally forget already and I watched the damn show. I think they were challenged to stand around and look pretty.

The hook of the show -- the part that got me -- is that the pretty people are also being judged on inner beauty! And they all effing fail!

The three judges view not only the challenges, but also the secret footage of contestants being immature and selfish and bitchy, which they all are.

The two lowest-scoring pretty people in the finals this week - lets call them Whiny Blond and Hunky Moron -- were each taped being jerks. They then had a secret challenge where each was tested to see if were nice or caring or responsible citizens. Basically each was rushing to a (fake) photo shoot, and stumbled across a (fake) drunk guy getting into his car, and the contestants are being tested to see if they will help or intervene. Whiny Blond did try to help by asking the valet to stop him, Hunky Moron watch and snickered.

So Hunky Moron was sent home, and Whiny Blond stays to compete for another week.

The icing on this crapfest cake? After the judges decide to send home Hunky Moron, he is shown a montage of all of his selfish douchebag comments and actions. He watches, and then slowly says "that's not the real me...". Uh, yes, Einstein, I think that may very well be the real you, on that tape there.

And yes I am going to watch again... sign me up, abc, this is a perfect summer series!


Jabacue said...

Amazing how we all get sucked into some of the 'stupid' reality shows! What's the attraction? Probably makes us feel good about ourselves knowing WE aren't as stupid as they....I'm sure we're not!
As long as we don't take them too too seriously, no harm will come.

Lauren said...

Oh fluff! Nothing better when thinking is not required.

The Absence of Alternatives said...

Whenever I go on biz trip, I watch Rachel Maddow and Keith O. and get myself all riled up and spit blood alnight while tweeting angry tweets. I am thinking your choice may be better for job performance the next day.

The Absence of Alternatives said...

OMG! As I am reading your blog, Carson Kressley is on Jimmy Fallon talking about this show! I feel that I NEED to watch it now.

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