Dave Barry is more than funny. Dave Barry is awesome.
While Dave Barry says he is considered funny strictly because of his copious use of the world "weasel", I think it is much more than that.
Like the funniest of funny people, he is wise. Some of his rules to live by...
1- Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2- No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
3- Never lick a steak knife.
4- The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
5- A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
6- You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
7- Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
8- If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
9- When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
10- The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers...
No casseroles for you.
2 hours ago