September 16, 2010

Holy crap... I just won $70,000 in the Irish National Sweepstakes!

Yes, it's true! According to an email I received, I won a lotta cash in the Irish National Sweepstakes! And you know it must be true if it came by email. Forget that I am not Irish, have been to Ireland only briefly several years ago, that I never entered any contest of any kind there, so what? I WON!!!!

I spend a fair bit of time on this here interwebz, and get a lot of email, from touch-bases with friends, to advertising, to alerts and blogs I have subscribed to, to all kinds of weird shit that makes you go HUH?

Over the past few days I have won the Irish lottery, received a Lucrative Business Proposal, been approached by Mendez Adolfo who Needs My Assistance And Trust, gotten a Final Notification!! re my Swiss Lotto Winning, been offered a No Cost Assessment by Melissa something on I don't know the hell what, and been approached by Mr Eaton Wazri who is awaiting my urgent reply concerning the African Development Bank Investment Opportunity.

I won Seven and Hundred and Fifty Great Thousand British Pounds in The Toyota Cash Splash, I won a million pounds in a tobacco promo, a million pounds in the BT promo, and once I hand over my banking info some dude across the world is going to confirm my transfer from the International Monetary Fund. Woo hoo, I am rich!

And once I collect all that real money from those trustworthy sources, I can spend it on email ads for Viagra and assorted prescription drugs, buy an island in the Caribbean, and triple my money in 90 days by investing in a Sudan Investment Fund.

Hey, it all came by email, so it's gotta be true!

There have always been con men and snake oil salesmen, and the new digital age is just a whole new high speed platform for them. So, seriously, people, are you falling for this shit? Really?

If I had a prize to give for best (worst?) whackjob email I received it would go to (drumroll please)... an invitation to The Perfect Ass Dating Community. Yes really. So there are so many perfect asses out there who want to meet other perfect asses to date that they felt under appreciated and compelled to organize? Kinda sweet, no?

Hey, for fun, I just googled these perfect ass guys, and they don't seem to have a really systematic online presence, so I am starting to get suspicious. I don't think it's a real community... Whaaaaaaaaat? This shit isn't real? Holy crap! Lowlife spam bastards...

18 comments:

Gigi said...

I just got hit with a new one - the subject line said of your wife. No text, just a link. Sounds suspicious, no? Particularly since I don't even have a wife.

Jabacue said...

Now if everybody had your approach and attitude, there wouldn't be so many scams and innocent victims who will never get it! Good post, Brahm!
Jim

Ray's Cowboy said...

I fully understand where you are coming from. I win allot of things this way. I just put in my trash box and go on. I really wished I would win; right now it would come in handy.

Ray

♥ Vicki ♥ said...

Umm...if they had such perfect asses, why would they need online dating???

Lauren said...

Tehe. Perfect ass... Is that like the episode of Friends where Joey finds his hand-twin? Do you find your perfect ass match?

Rusty Hoe said...

I am always being offered free samples of viagra, which I have always found perplexing, being a woman and all. But then on my latest MRI form I was asked about my "prosthetic penis" and I became a little concerned. I mean I always knew my voice was deep for a woman but I'm starting to think I may need vocal lessons to sound a tad more feminine.

I would say being told you have a perfect ass is always better than being told it's mediocre. ;)

Brahm (alfred lives here) said...

Excellent point --- I guess being invited to the Perfect Ass Community is better than NOT being invited to the Perfect Ass Community!

Annie (Lady M) x said...

You know what annoys me about these bloody emails from Nigeria and Ireland - it's not so much that they are spam, it is because they are so bloody unoriginal! If you are gonna scam, at least make it a bit of a challenge he he!

diego said...

true enough, but then again, check this out... http://adland.tv/content/mother-london-and-christmas-spam

Brahm (alfred lives here) said...

Annie - I totally agree - if yuo are gonna overwhelm my inbox with crap and ripoffs, at least make it original and clever crap and ripoffs!

Brahm (alfred lives here) said...

Diego - just checked that link out, that is awesome.

Nicki said...

Ahh, my favorite is when I got an email from my friend that he was "stuck" in a foreign country because he didn't have the money to exit said country and could I please wire him the money asap! Funny, Hugh, I could have sworn I just saw you at the firehouse yesterday running calls with me!

Kate Collings said...

It's just like those scratch cards that say you've won more than the Beckhams are worth. However if you read the smallprint it will actually COST you MORE to phone up to claim your winnings so you will then be millions of pounds worth in debt to these companies!

How do they sleep at night? I ask you!
Take care, KC, xx

www.katecollings.blogspot.com - always welcoming new followers, guests and comments xx

injaynesworld said...

You nailed it brilliantly, my friend. I wonder who actually responds to those e-mails. I'm thinking the same people who worship at the feet of Sarah Palin and marry their first cousins.

Miss Nikki said...

Oh-my-god-oh-my-god! I'm so totally putting together a list of what I want you to buy me with that money!

Linda Medrano said...

I win those things all the time too. It's good to be us, Honey.

tattytiara said...

I don't believe anything I read in e-mails. Not even the ones I send to myself when I'm lonely.

andygirl said...

I am jealous. you really hit the jackpot! I never get the foreign lottery emails. damn junk mail filter.

also: I need to get on this perfect ass dating site. I mean, my ass *is* quite fetching. she'd fit right in.

Post a Comment

Comments are like chew toys and favourite treats. Alfie says thanks!