September 12, 2010

Lesbian Bed Death and other things I learned this week...

Life is all about the learning, folks...

1- The red emergency phone in an elevator is not just for calling in case of an emergency, it will accept calls too. It rang, I answered, and it was a damn marketer asking if I shop at Walmart. I said no and buh-bye. I may have been a tad abrupt...

2- "Lesbian Bed Death" is when two gay women meet, hook up fast, pull up the u-haul and move in fast, and then quickly the heat fades and they morph into best friends.

3- There is a show on MTV called One Girl, Five Gays.

4- Fear of Flying, a book I am now reading, is still shockingly bold and smart and raunchy, 37 years after it was first published.

5- If you want to impress, gross out, and terrify your guests, have them kill the main course (chicken, prawns) themselves. In your living room, on camera. Nope I didn't do it, I saw it on Dinner Party Wars. Ick.

6- Dogs puke without reason or provocation. Okay, I knew that already, I just know it MORE now.

Yep, that's it. Much as I luuuuv top ten lists, just didn't learn that much this week. Hmmm...

18 comments:

andygirl said...

so do cats. ew.

Shirley said...

lol - the phone call in!! - nowhere is safe - not from tele-marketers!!

harrysfamilytree said...

Ick is right! I turned off the TV because it looked like they were going to chop the chicken up with their guests. Gross. Thanks for letting me know they didn't do it in the end.

Lauren said...

Okay, two things to say to this. I think I've done lesbian bed death backwards but somehow skipped the hooking up. I feel a little cheated. Prawns and chicken are probably the grossest food. I had to clean them when I still had a job. DO NOT MISS THAT! WOULD NOT FORCE GUESTS TO DO IT.

Midwestern Mama Holly said...

This is the 3rd blog in as many weeks that has posted something about Fear of Flying. Ive never read it... now I must.
Our across the streets neighbors wife did the lesbian bed death thing last summer. Left her old man, moved in with her new girlfriend and now wants to come home. The magic is gone. The ex husband told her take a leap.
Its really sad when good lesbian love goes bad.

Fred Miller said...

At least dogs purge on the floor. Cats do it on the breakfast table, the remote control unit, and the baby.

Brahm (alfred lives here) said...

On the baby? The cat puked ON THE BABY? Oh yeah, you totally win. If that counts as "winning", that is.

ladyfi said...

Ah, dogs and puking... My dog is smart, and if the door is open, then at least he'll do it outside.

Must read Fear of Flying - still haven't done so after all these years!

WannabeVirginia W. said...

love the show 1 girl 5 gays. It is usually on Friday nights in this neck of the woods.

Gigi said...

I'm guessing no one bothered to register the elevator phone on the Do Not Call list.....

Smileyfreak said...

I never knew about the elevator phones. :)

Gill said...

Can't believe tele-sales got thru to an elevator ... there's just no stopping those people! I'd have been inclined to leave it off the hook, hike up there phone bill a little. ;-)

Gill said...

* their
:) oops

Annie (Lady M) x said...

Naughty George can wretch and puke on demand, and uses it to get what he wants. And if he doesn't get his own way, the puke is always in the house. What a git!

Elly Lou said...

Elly pukes without reason or provocation, too. At least this weekend she did. All weekend. Though she didn't puke on a baby so it wasn't all bad. But this whole talking in the third person proves the fever hasn't passed.

vanita said...

is #5 the western version of sushi, just with chickens?

i wish that tele-marketer worked for my company, talk about persistence. at least it wasn't a debt collector.

injaynesworld said...

I'm sure I must've learned something this week, I just can't remember what it was. Those senior moments are killers.

Linda Medrano said...

You have a strange mind. I love that in a guy. Both of my dogs and my cat puke for no reason and it bugs me. Okay, it bugs me because I have to clean it up. My husband Alex is too much of a princess to clean up nasty stuff.

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