September 19, 2010

Sun Chips and other stupid things that annoy the crap out of me...

I like Sun Chips - crunchy, tasty, a tad salty in a good way, and at least in my mind healthier than regular potato chips, which are pretty much the nutritional equivalent of sugar-coated chocolate-battered salted deep fried lard.

But those assholes annoy me. Their math is evil. A serving is 50 grams. A bag is 225 grams. So a bag is a nice round easy-to-share 4.25 servings. Makes it easy to do the math about calories and carbs, huh? Couldn't the bag be 200 or 250 grams? Nah, too easy. Hey, you could always count chips - a serving is 26.

Other stuff pissing me off lately...

1- The dude who sat beside me at the Air Canada Maple Leaf Lounge, farting and smiling, farting and smiling, farting and smiling. Doing it with rhythm does not make it ok.

2- Car alarms.

3- People who say "guns don't kill people, people kill people." No jerkwad, guns kill people. Elastic bands don't kill people. Guns do.

4- People who drive waaay below the speed limit. If you want to go that slow, you can effing walk. Pull over, give your keys to someone who knows how to drive, and get marching.

5- SUV's with racing stripes.

6- Melvin Bleckman. I do not know you, so when sites like facebook and mediate.com auto sign me in as you, it annoys me. Not your fault. I still blame you.

7- The short falls of spell check. I intended to send out a group email about french-cuff shirts yesterday, and instead sent out an email about french-cuff shits. Oops.

8- People who talk on their cell phones in public washrooms. Hey buddy in the cubicle beside me, I CAN HEAR YOU! And this week, the jerkwad in the cubicle beside me was taking a conference call from the can. Real classy, buddy, real classy....

30 comments:

andygirl said...

I am so with you on this list. but #8? that's just disgusting.

Miss Nikki said...

#8: last night i was working on the car (at the races) and some guy was on his cell "yo dude, you see this, there's a CHICK changing shocks on the car, hahaha" and I was like "dude, i can fucking hear you!" and i so hate car alarms too...

Ray's Cowboy said...

I think they are all cute. I love nuber 8 as well.
Ray

Nubian said...

Saw a bumper sticker yesterday "Guns don't kill people, bullets kill people, guns just make them go really, really fast" ;~)

You may want to check your follow link ~ I could not click on it to follow and I don't FB.

Gigi said...

Love this list and can agree with all of them. I think #4 was my favorite though. "Get marching" made me laugh out loud!

WannabeVirginia W. said...

oh my god major pet peeve, people who drive slow and straddle the middle lane. Totally makes me want to go homicidal.

injaynesworld said...

How about people who are too freakin' lazy to take their shopping cart to a designated area when they're done with it and instead just leave it in the middle of the only free parking spot in the entire freakin' lot? I've noticed these people usually drive SUVs with racing stripes.

Penny Lane said...

French-Cuff Shits is my favourite, hands down. I think you may have inadvertantly provided content for the Trailer Park Boys or something of that nature.

Nicely done.

I also DESPISE slow drivers and I live in a community comprised of roughly 73% Seniors. Where do you think my road rage level is at?

Midwestern Mama Holly said...

Please don't even get me started on slow or assholio drivers. If only I had a flame thrower. And what about those noisy 100% compostable Sun Chips bags. ARRGH. Just more noise I do not need.

TICKLEBEAR said...

#8: that's what i call multi-tasking!!!
:D~
HUGZ

Lauren said...

I hate it when people are in the bathroom and on the phone! Gross! I think I would have purposely tried to make that call as awkward as possible. I always did like sound effects. Was the farting-guy at least apologetically smiling? OH! Put him in the bathroom with the phone-guy!

Brahm (alfred lives here) said...

@ Nubian - I checked out the google reader and seems ok. What is the error? I sure dont want it to be hard to follow the blog (follow me, follow me)!

@ Jayne - I so agree on the not returning shopping cart thing. Why does the parking lot have to be like an obstacle course for the rest of us? Most places here have the coin thing attached so they are returned fairly often, which I think works.

@ Holly - oy, yes that damn compostable bag. Such a good idea, and so crinkly and loud it just emphasizes how often I am going into the damn thing. Slows the eating right down. They should sell a silencer for that thing!

anonymouspunchingbag.com said...

I love this blog. I can add to list too

1. Baby's who scream in restaurants
2. People who constantly clear their throats in public areas
3. Each and overtime Facebook suggest I re-friend my dirt back x- husband.

Anyway, I will now be checking back here often!

Ken Harvey said...

Great entry! My recent pet peeve has been politicians who robo-call us with the opening lines, "Hello. I really want to talk to you personally."

Annie (Lady M) x said...

Couldn't agree more about people driving really slowly. It drives me mad. Not only do they drive slowly but they also tend to be oblivious... especially to the line of traffic behind them!

Really, you noticed a chap taking a conference call in a toilet?! WTF?

Nicki said...

Ok, 6 and 7 had me laughing so hard! Thank you for that! I needed it! Along with #7, the shortfalls of auto-fill when I am entering an email address to send emails. I had to send a very embarrassing paper I wrote for English to myself from my laptop to the desktop so I could print it. My email address is very close to the email address of the ENTIRE GROUP OF FIREFIGHTERS AT THE FIREHOUSE. Instead of sending it to me, I sent it to about 100 co-workers at the firehouse. Fuck you, auto-fill!

sophie... said...

MY 'FAVE' chip food is from 'Food Should Taste Good'.....try it!!!

Frank said...

I gun can not kill a person unless it is in the hands of a person,or somehow rigged to go off by a person, plain and simple. Knives kill people also, but only if they are in the hands of someone, or again,set in a manor to do harm by a person. A rubberband can kill a person if it is in the hands of a person. And besides that, it is not the gun that killed anyone, it is the projectile that came from the bullet that was put into the gun. Oh and how did that bullet get into the gun, well I can assure you it did not get there on its' own. That is, of course, unless the gun were used to pistol whip or stock slap someone, then a bullet would not be required, but it would still take a person to put forth the effort to cause the damage.
It is just about as easy to strangle somene with a piece of fine wire or your bare hands. Maybe we had better outlaw hands and fingers because they are what hold the guns and pull the triggers. I have been a gun owner since I was 12 years old and have been around guns my entire life and not once have I seen a gun just randomly shoot anything. For some reason there was always a person involved in the discharging of the weapon.

Aunt Juicebox said...

I love Sun Chips too, it's the new bag that makes me not want to buy them anymore. I know it's supposed to be all environmentally good or whatever, but I don't even eat that many of them to make a difference. It's just too noisy, and feels weird.

Number 7 was seriously funny. Probably embarrassing for you, but funny for me. :)

Gill said...

Haha I'm with Lauren, put farty-smilerman in the bathroom with classy cellphone man. Match made in heaven!
But I do love the idea of you telling everyone about French-cuff Shits. Now that is pure class! :D
PS - the silly captureitwhateveritscalled word as I posted this comment was 'porants'. Somehow that fits perfectly! lol

Mrsblogalot said...

#3 is my favorite not that I don't want to murder the #1 guy but please already...guns kill people..people just ...well...#1 you to death!

Brahm (alfred lives here) said...

Yeppers, I got some razzing over the french-cut shits at work. At least my coworkers were entertained!

And totally agree on those robo calls, are all annoying, from politicans, credit card companies, whoever...

Eric said...

Eric likes this.

AbsolutelyPrimed said...

French-cuff Shits ~ Classic! Reminds me somewhat of T-9 texting experiences...Like inviting a friend & her kids to go 'feed the fucks' at the ponds. Oops :O)

The Barreness said...

Oo, I love fun games. May I please add:

- People who say "take a decision". As far as I'm aware there is no decision "taking" process and furthermore, you're British - aren't you supposed to speak the damned language properly?

- Children. Yea, that's pretty much all I have to say about that.

- Women who bitch about equality whilst chosing unemployment and merrily spending their husband's money on handbags.

- Also, I second the guns thing. People who say "guns don't kill people" make me want to force feed them gun powder and make them light their farts.

Okay, so I'm feeling a bit aggressive today. Sorry for that.

- B x

Brahm (alfred lives here) said...

@ Barreness -- I so agree on "take a decision" - bad grammar, and just clunky words.

@ absolutely primed -- gotta laugh, I think 'feed the fucks' may outdo my french-cuff shits!

megansquared said...

"Doing it with rhythm does not make it ok."

Hahaha favorite quote of the week.

bmat10 said...

I am pretty sure I can kill somebody with a rubber band.

Always Home and Uncool said...

Bur guns DON'T kill people.

Bullets do.

We need a national bullet moratorium.

Brahm (alfred lives here) said...

Interesting about Sun Chips -- apparently Canada has embraced the new loud eco bag, as updated in the current Macleans magazine. It is working here and people are embracing it. We are greener?

The US is dropping them because people hate the loud bag and thing that outweighs the green good of it.

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