Forget January 1st, forget Back to School, forget Rosh Hashana. It's the New TV Year! The new TV season begins soon, and this year I am being smarter about the whole damn thing. I will not, NOT, be sucked in by those bastard networks.
Here are my TV New Year Resolutions for Fall 2010:
1- I will not watch Dancing with the Stars. It blows at the best of times, and this year has a Palin and a Hasselhoff as "stars". Kill me now.
2- Brothers and Sisters gets four weeks to redeem themselves after last year's crapfest. Blow it and you are dead to me.
3- No Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Maybe Conan.
4- Vanessa Williams is the new housewife on Desperate Housewives. That is all I need to know, I am there every single week.
5- No lame alleged reality shows. That is you, Top Model Apprentice Survivor Bachelor Bachelorette Bachelor Pad Big Brother Jersey Shore Keeping Up with the Kardashians.
6- No lame comedies just because they are Canadian. That is you, Little Mosque on the Prairie.
7- Yes absolutely to the amazing The Good Wife, who this year gets more drama and a gay brother. Tuesday belongs to you.
8- No to comatose Larry King or the boring Britsh guy who is replacing him, Piers Dulldom.
9- No long-winded slow moving endless serial dramas. Never watched Lost, fell asleep during premiere of Flash Forward. The world isn't fair, you do not get a chance. That is you, The Event.
10- Yes to Jon Stewart. You had me at "Hello, Glenn Beck is a douchebag..."