September 10, 2010

My New Year's Resolutions, TV Style...

Forget January 1st, forget Back to School, forget Rosh Hashana. It's the New TV Year! The new TV season begins soon, and this year I am being smarter about the whole damn thing. I will not, NOT, be sucked in by those bastard networks.

Here are my TV New Year Resolutions for Fall 2010:

1- I will not watch Dancing with the Stars. It blows at the best of times, and this year has a Palin and a Hasselhoff as "stars". Kill me now.

2- Brothers and Sisters gets four weeks to redeem themselves after last year's crapfest. Blow it and you are dead to me.

3- No Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Maybe Conan.

4- Vanessa Williams is the new housewife on Desperate Housewives. That is all I need to know, I am there every single week.

5- No lame alleged reality shows. That is you, Top Model Apprentice Survivor Bachelor Bachelorette Bachelor Pad Big Brother Jersey Shore Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

6- No lame comedies just because they are Canadian. That is you, Little Mosque on the Prairie.

7- Yes absolutely to the amazing The Good Wife, who this year gets more drama and a gay brother. Tuesday belongs to you.

8- No to comatose Larry King or the boring Britsh guy who is replacing him, Piers Dulldom.

9- No long-winded slow moving endless serial dramas. Never watched Lost, fell asleep during premiere of Flash Forward. The world isn't fair, you do not get a chance. That is you, The Event.

10- Yes to Jon Stewart. You had me at "Hello, Glenn Beck is a douchebag..."


Annie (Lady M) x said...

Nooooooo! you can't forsake reality TV - is the lifeblood of... ermmmm.... living

You can't believe how happy I was to hear that Piers Dulldom was being exported to the states! [evil laugh]! That guy is famous because he was the Editor of the most gossipy rag newspaper in the UK.

Kevin said...

What about HGTV?

Oh, and the new Sherlock Holmes.

Brahm (alfred lives here) said...

Yes is true there is lots of good stuff on HGTV. Except Holmes on Homes. Annoying.

And the new Sherlock Holmes does sound intriguing in a Dr Who meets CSI kind of way.

injaynesworld said...

Oh, come on! Where's Nurse Jackie in that line up? Okay, it's on Showtime, but still. Get the DVDs from the first and second season and you'll be hooked.

Lauren said...

How could I have forgotten about The Good Wife! Okay, she gets Tuesday. Now I have three days covered leaving four to study, you know... should I feel like it. Thanks for the reminder!

Rusty Hoe said...

Whoa no ANTM? Really? I am in shock as it is my one reality weakness and can't imagine life without it. Please if you ever see the New Zealand version advertised promise me you'll watch it for the accents alone. It's priceless.

Brahm (alfred lives here) said...

Okay I gotta admit it took me a few minutes to even get what ANTM is.

So for America's Next Top Model, which I have seen literally two half episodes total, or Canada's Next Top Model, which I have deftly avoided for several years, I quote the philosopher Whitney Houston, "Hell to the no..."

I do not have the patience for Tyra, the judges' nasty attitudes, or brainless waifs. I cant even fake that one...

madtexter (corey james) said...

Yes! I am with you on most of these points. POOF! Dancing with the (so-called) stars. And yes, Brothers and Sisters does have only a few episodes to redeem itself. It's getting really predictable as of late.

Don't even get me started on Housewives. I think I've watched 30 minutes of that show since it started. Seemed kind of boring. But now that Wilhelmenia (er, I mean, Vanessa) is on it, I may just have to set my DVR to 'stun'! Woo-hoo!

John Gray said...

the new sherlock holmes !!! great stuff

Brahm (alfred lives here) said...

Ooh, can't wait for the new Sherlock Holmes!!!

Barb said...

Hi Brahm, Now I'm wondering how the heck you ever landed on my Blog (A grammy's blog...), but I do see we're kindred spirits, though my spirit is quite a bit older than yours. I am with you on all but #4, and really I don't give a darn about either Stewart or Beck. Alfie is sure cute, though - I'd maybe go for a reality show about HIM!

Wombat Central said...

I don't usually watch DWTS, but Jennifer Grey! Nobody puts baby in a corner! And Margaret Cho! And c'mon. The Hoff is going to provide great comedic value. I'd tune in just to see if he's a train wreck.

I'm with you on Brothers & Sisters.

I"m psyched for The Mentalist and Castle to return. And yes, it *may* have something to do with the leading men. Or not. Okay, it totally does. Don't judge.

Didactic Pirate said...

This is a noble list. I applaud the strength of your convictions.

And I'd love to tell you that I too will be avoiding Dancing with the Stars. Because, you know -- Bristol Palin. Bad. Giving attention to any more Palins is just bad.

But... don't you want to see her embarrass herself and shame her family? Just a little bit? Come on.

Nenette AM said...

Oh, I'm totally with you on everything except 2 and 7... mainly because I've never watched those shows. :)
And with 6, have you seen How to be Indie? My kids and I watch iCarly on Teletoon, then when it ends, we scramble for the remote to change the channel before Indie comes on. I've tried, tried to like it. But it just made my eyes and ears bleed. Gross.

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