January 11, 2010

Mall walking with weirdos

Sunday was a work day for me (yep my life is that exciting). It was a quiet day, which blows as I like it busy, so I took a break and walked through the mall across the street.

The mall was quiet too. It is plus five degrees Celsius here (like 40 Fahrenheit), unseasonably warm. And as the news keeps trumpeting, warmer than Orlando Florida. Woo hoo!

And when I say 'mall walk', I mean 'mall walk' as in grab a Starbucks and amble alone through the shopping centre to see the sights and pass the time, not 'mall walk' as in meet my seniors group at 8 AM in matching t-shirts and magenta headbands to march robustly while swinging our arms in sync, burning calories while we boast about our grandchildren in law school. People in uniformed packs freak me out.

Where did I go during my mall walk? The usual haunts. I hit the book store, the music store, the department store to see if the kitchen gadgets we want are on sale (nope, those bastards).

Who did I see and hear? The woman licking a chocolate bar wrapper. The dude sitting in one of those ten-minute massage chair clipping his nails. The kid yelling at his father at the Cookies by George counter. The health food store employee coming back from a smoke break. Some guy wearing shorts talking on two cell phones at the same time. A confused looking man who looks like Apu from The Simpsons. And...

Then there was my personal favourite, the bedazzled elderly couple in the bookstore reading aloud to each other from the Kuma Sutra. Yes I listened, and apparently they are adventurous. Ick.

Next time I am skipping the break and staying in my office...

13 comments:

injaynesworld said...

Just checking out your book shelf. Have you read Kathy Griffin's new book? It's pretty funny.

And the mere mention of cookies makes me want one.

TICKLEBEAR said...

AWH, COME ON!!
have a heart for the old adventurous couple.
it's not like they invited you to watch, right?!?
RIGHT??????????????
:D~
HUGZ

Wonder Man said...

the old couple sounds cute

avalanche said...

Malls really freak me out. I get all spacey and start bumping into people. It's quite a sight. I live in the city with the infamous Mall of America. (sigh) I can count the number of times I've been in it on one hand.

And the mere mention of kitchen gadgets makes me want one.

TICKLEBEAR said...

@ avalanche:
a kitchen, or a gadget?!?...
:D~

retailrecruit said...

Ah, and when I saw the title of the blog I thought it would be crammed with fabulous tips by Canada's leading luxury retailer on how to hire outstanding employees aka the Mall Crawl.
ICK to the older couple.....

Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com said...

There is no better place to people watch than a mall. It might be the only thing I miss about working in retail!

Aunt Juicebox said...

I used to take my daughter to the mall for flute and piano lessons, and I would love sitting on the bench by the fountain, watching all the crazies who came in. My favorite were the teenagers. They would come in the dead of winter wearing house slippers and flipflops. Very amusing.

Bob said...

What is this thing you call a "mall" and why does it "crawl"?

Brahm said...

Jayne - yes I have read Kathy Griffin's book, and loved it, right mix of funny with some touching stuff too (not too much tho).

And yes malls are good for people wathcing, and "oy" on the older couple... ick. Some things should be private at home, and or broadcast on youtube. As long as I don't have to watch.

Interesting on the mall haters, I live in same city as gigantic West Edmonton Mall and avoid it like the plague. Too loud too busy too claustrophobic.

Brent said...

Sounds like an interesting trip! Do you think the population of a mall at any one time is a good representation of the world? (I hope not)

Clare and Gary said...

The 'adventurous' oldies near us live in a place called 'The Villages’..You can Google it (central Florida) ..it’s like a retirement town! Anyway I ramble..they are so adventurous that they had the highest count of std's per population in Florida last year... nothing like imagining your grandmother 'swapping' with George, the octogenarian grey haired golfer, who apparently had just left Betty down the street’s bed... LOL

Brahm said...

Ha ha ha... a seniors' place with highest count of STD's.... okay that is so classic!!!

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