February 22, 2010

Let's get physical with the sexiest songs of all time...

Earlier this month, music bible Billboard magazine listed their 50 sexiest songs of all time.

Some of their choices are surprising to me, and here is likely why -- Billboard defines the terms as the sexiest songs are songs about sex, no romance or foreplay at Billboard apparently, and they are ranked based on their performance on the Billboard Hot 100 chart which ranks by radio airplay and sales.

So these really aren't the best sex songs, or necessarily the sexiest songs, they are the most successful songs about sex.

Here is the top ten: Olivia Newton John - Physical, Rod Stewart - Tonight's The Night, Boyz II Men - I'll Make Love To You, Next - Too Close, Marvin Gaye - Let's Get It On, Donna Summer - Hot Stuff, Captain and Tennille - Do That To Me One More Time, Madonna - Like A Virgin, Exile - Kiss You All Over, and Rod Stewart - Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?

There is some good stuff on here, like the two Rod Stewart songs, and some I would not have thought of and I think are terrific, like Captain and Tennille (what, no Muskrat Love...).

There are also wonky choices, for example Madonna has sexier songs, like Justify My Love, but I guess Like a Virgin was the bigger hit. Both are about sex, unlike Material Girl, which is pretty much about being a whore. Which is ok with me (the song, not being a whore) because it is fun and danceable and had a glamorous video.

One mystery to me in the top ten ---what the hell is Too Close by Next?

Surprises? These songs in the Top 50 that I would have guessed to rank higher: I Want Your Sex, Dim All the Lights, Slow Hand, Feel Like Makin Love, Pour Some Sugar On Me, Love to Love You Baby. Oh, and 50 Cent's Candy Shop (ick).

And yes boys and girls it apparenly counts as sex when you are all by your lonesome, as there are two songs about self-lovin' on the list, Cyndi Lauper's She Bop and Toni Braxton's You're Makin' Me High. What, no I Touch Myself from the Divinyls?

Also on the list is Peter Gabriel's Sledgehammer, which until now I actually did not realise was about sex. Yep, I am that dumb. Or am I just that pure and innocent?

As for Physical, yes I like the song, and love Olivia (hey, my GPS is named Olivia, but that is another story), but is it the sexiest song? This is the restriction of this list. It is her biggest sex hit, and was the top single of the 80s, and yet I think her follow-up single Make A Move On Me was flirtier and sexier, and in terms of just sex, she later did Culture Shock about a threesome, and Tied Up about, well, you know...

You can see the full list at http://www.billboard.com/.

11 comments:

inannasstar said...

Sledgehammer is about sex? I guess I'm pure and innocent too. I'm with you on the choices, definitely agree with some but would have added a few more.

ajm said...

I didn't realize that about Sledgehammer either! Gross!

And I just will never get over the video for "Let's Get Physical" -- there is no forgiving that, even if it is ONJ.

laura linger said...

I got one for you, and it's a crime that it was left off the list: Wicked Game by Chris Isaak. They should have just named that song "Fuck Me Right Now" and been done with it.

Clare and Gary said...

Laughing at Rod Stewart..as a 12 (maybe) year old I used to sit kissing my mom's Rod Stewart albumn .. he was so dreamy and romantic back then... nearly 30 years on I'm ashamed to admit I'd kissed any part of Rod...can I catch herpes from a record cover?

Annie (Lady M) x said...

I don't think that Physical is the sexiest song either.... but I do think that Olivia Newton John looks like a turtle's head in that picture.

Michael Rivers said...

I loved the song "Physical." Still do. But I'm not sure I'd say it was the sexiest of all time.

Brahm said...

Right you are, Wicked Game by Chris Isaak totally sexy song, and video... should be on the list (and every list).

As for Rod Stewart, never actually found him sexy, though did see him live a million years ago and thought he was terrific live. At some point back when she was popular, Janet Jackson covered "Tonight's the Night" and it worked really well with her breathy vocals.

And Annie thanks for the "turtle head" label, that is now seared on my brain for all time...

injaynesworld said...

I don't know what it is about Eric Clapton's "Layla" -- the electric version -- but it still puts heat in this old broad's feet! A song doesn't have to be about sex to be sexy hot.

Will Burke said...

Since we were all in the dark about Sledgehammer, either Peter Gabrielès too obscure, of the folks at Billboard are weirdo-freaks.

bmat10 said...

Well, I am certainly glad I'm not the only one who totally misread Sledghammer. I can't even think of what the sexiest song might be. How about Lou Reeds, 'walk on the wild side' eh, maybe not. 'Goin' down in an elevator' by Aero Smith? Unchain my heart? how in the heck does one come up with a legit list on the subject seeing as it is so subjective. I'll quit rambling now.

TICKLEBEAR said...

amen to chris isaak, but a suggestion here: donna summer's "i feel love". didn't it define the disco era: sex, drugs and a disco mirror ball...
:)~
HUGZ

Post a Comment

Comments are like chew toys and favourite treats. Alfie says thanks!