The other day I did something downright clumsy -- I was walking and talking and enthusiastically whooshing my hands around and whomp, I walked straight into a glass table. Ouch.
The next day I did something downright stupid - I went on http://www.webmd.com/ and used their symptom checker to look up the bruising and discolouration on my bumped leg.
Now here is the context - I readily confess to being both an internet geek and a hypochondriac, so you know that whatever the web md says, be she a real doctor or underage child with a high-speed connection and a cruel streak, is gonna freak me out.
The process is easy -- you answer a few questions, type in your symptoms, and pronto, the website gives you its version of a diagnosis by listing the conditions associated with your symptoms.
So I entered in my symptoms --- bruising, tender to touch, etc. Nothing extreme or long lasting. And then - the effing results FREAKED ME OUT. Yep, the internet says I am dying.
It listed eleven, yes ELEVEN, possible conditions for my everyday non-fatal leg scrape: hematoma, dislocated knee, a posterior cruciate ligament injury, and so on. Scared the crap out of me, I as I read the list and looked up each scary-sounding Latin symptom, it became instantly clear - yes, that must be what I have!
There are all kinds of legalese disclaimers with this information, which I ignored, and true it probably is better that they over-communicate what could be wrong with you. More information is better. Knowledge is power. Blah Blah Blah. But not for me...Where is the website that says "You're fine, don't worry about it." Bruised leg? You're fine, don't worry about it. Weird sore? You're fine, don't worry about it. Bleeding gash? Pop some codeine, get some sleep, eat some jellybeans, you'll be fine, don't worry about it.
I am not going back to webmd.com anytime soon. I am gonna look for the jellybeans and popcorn will solve your health issues site... any ideas where that is?