February 13, 2010

Valentine's Day is for Douchebags


February 14th...

Valentine's Day. A financial bonanza for greeting card makers, jewellers, and Victoria's Secret... and then what the hell about the rest of us?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not bitter (this year). This will be a really nice Valentine's; it is my second with K, we have come a long way since last year, and we are now planning our wedding. The day will start off with breakfast and then a meeting with the architect designing our house, and end with a beautiful dinner at a luxe restaurant. Ok, come to think of it, not sure what the hell will do with the seven or so hours between meeting and dinner... crap, gotta think of something...

What is Valentine's Day about?

- Spending time with your loved one. I already do that.

- Buying a pink and red card? Yep can do that -- and by the way, Hallmark is missing a big gay opportunity there for same-sex Valentines (homophobic pricks).

- Giving a great gift? He is getting an effing awesome one.

- Buying red roses at jacked-up prices? Not so much a fan.

- Taking time to ensure your loved one feels special and appreciated? Always a good thing, which yes I try to do more of (and so should all of you).

Truth be told, until now I have never been a huge fan of Valentine's Day. I have had many years as a single Valentine, a couple of years with guys who I probably should not have been with, and a time or two with assholes.

Being single on Valentine's Day was not fun. You want to be happy for your paired-up friends, those lucky bastards, while numbing yourself with stuffed-crust pizza and cough syrup. It was like being the only Jew at Christmas - you all get a friggin holiday and I am not invited?

I am in a terrific relationship, so why whine about Valentine's Day? Seems like a douchebag gloating to those people who want relationships and don't have them. We should already have an anniversary as "our day", why should we all get Feb 14th as a secondary anniversary? We eat too much chocolate already, and a cheesy card is not going to get you married or get you laid.

This year, I am going to be a happy-in-a-relationship-ha-ha-ha douchebag and enjoy Valentine's Day if for no other reason that it prompted us to take a break from our busy lives and schedule a dinner out just the two of us. K and I will have a nice Valentine's Day because we always enjoy our time together. The gift is a practical one, and I think something that he really wants, and it is impressively huge (not that size matters).

I have someone great in my life, and should celebrate him everyday. For those who don't, they may have hurt feelings and feel bitter and left out. That is not a holiday model that works. I will work harder to show my love and affection everyday, and then we can come up with something new and better to celebrate every February.

And then once we fix this, let's tackle Labour Day...

20 comments:

Kevin said...

An effing awesome gift? Cool. Tulips are better than roses. Hopefully my flight finally leaves here and I am home in time for Valentine's Day.

Cyndi said...

You had me at "Douchebags". I have no idea why that word always cracks me up. Yes, I have the sense of humor of a 14 year old boy. I agree with Kevin...tulips are way better than roses. Have a great day! :)

Tony Anders said...

I love the random sentiment this holiday conjures in people - thanks for sharing and have a great Sunday no matter the holiday!

Kelly@TearingUpHouses said...

Hallmark DOES NOT have same sex Valentine's? ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

Kelly

Tracie said...

Some company has to make same sex Valentines. If not they are missing out on a large market.

Aunt Juicebox said...

I agree, I've never cared for Valentine's day. I can't think of one I've spent alone since I was 18, but I've known many people who have, and they are always very saddened by it. It's hard enough to be single when you don't really want to be, and then to have a holiday like this one thrown in your face.

Jason said...

So? What did you get him? I wonder...

Middle Aged Woman said...

I'm with Kevin on the tulips. Love the yellow ones. Still, they are all overpriced this weekend. The mister and I never celebrate what we call "Hallmark Holidays" like this and Sweetest Day. Bleh. Unless you count the boxes of little valentines hearts from Brachs I have devoured. Even better than candy corn!

wanderingthroughwonderland said...

I wish you would have posted what you got him. I'm needing some inspiration. Right now it's a tie between flowers from the grocery store and chocolates from the pharmacy.

Vodka Logic said...

That was a great blog. Humorous but not over the top. Some real sound advice as well.

Not with hubs this VD but after 29 years we can miss one together..

Off to write some gay valentines poetry for Hallmark. :)

injaynesworld said...

Gays aren't the only ones fucking Hallmark pisses on. Me, bitter? Hell, yes! Have I written about it? Oh, you know I have...

And, by the way, I will fight Mary Mac to the death for you, my fantasy gay boyfriend.

Brahm said...

Aww, thanks Jayne. Gotta admit, that is a fight I sort of want to see... is that weird?

And yes I think there are same-sex Valentines out there, though not easily accessible, there are some online, if I had planned this like three weeks ago so time to order them in to get across border and here. Shockingly, I did not do that.

And Kevin did not get tulips or roses. He got a suitcase. That is better than it sounds - is a really nice one, and he wanted it. Practical and gifty. And yes it was wrapped in a big huge box and gift-wrapped.

Out-Numbered said...

Right on brother!

Clare and Gary said...

I'd love a new suitcase... told hubbie not to waste money on over priced roses... he trumped up with a satellite radio for my car... good hubbie... not seen him all day as he has been working, but he'll get an extra special love from me later, just for being him :-)

Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com said...

I'm not a huge fan of the day either. I might like it a little better if people around here shared their chocolates though.

Mrsblogalot said...

Damn Hallmark Valprick douchetines.

I ate up every line of this delicious post! You are so much better than chocolate!!!!

Live it up and ha ha ha away!!!

Kevin said...

And was an effing amazing gift was the suitcase! Perfect for me, as a lover of travel. All I need now is the first class plane ticket somewhere. Any ideas where?

Will Burke said...

I'm lucky in that my other-sex-partner & I both have B-Days im March, so we go easy on VDay. She's rather get "Just 'Cuz Day" flowers anyway. I'd just as soon skip the Hallmark blarny-and-jive too, if we're voting

Kate@And Then I Was a Mom said...

Amen to all that. For me, Valentine's Day is up there with New Year's Eve in terms of useless holidays.

But, also, and just to check: A person CAN still eat stuffed-crust pizza when they're not single, yes? YES??

Brahm said...

Agree on the New Year thing, and yes on the pizza -- all pizza is always good!

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