May 16, 2010

Bowling for bachelors...

Yeppers, Bowling for Bachelors sounds like a totally misguided fundraising event, but it was in fact our bachelor party last night, and it was damn fun!

When our friends Kathryn and Gwenn decided to throw us a bachelor party, we were happy and flattered and... confused? What does a gay bachelor party look like? Uh, okay, that sounds like a Rock Hudson movie or a cheezy porn flick... THE GAY BACHELOR PARTY.

The only gay bachelor party I have been to, which was tied to the only gay wedding I have been to, involved an underwashed casino and an underfed stripper. And while it was a fun evening, it was not really up our alley.

We aren't big drinkers, not that into strippers etc (been there, done that), and as we are in our early 40s, let's say the bachelor party has been had. After us both being single and out there for so long, the 12-inch extended disco remix of bachelorhood had been lived. Been there, done that.

Then the idea of a bowling party came up -- fun activity, silly rented shoes, all ages friendly, and mountains of deep fried food. We were 17 people, ages 10 to 75, and had a hoot.

And it was educational. So here is what I learned at our (G-rated) bachelor party:

1- Don't focus so much on your attire, as your loving (evil) friends will also plan for what the happy couple wears. I chose Burberry, they chose crazy loud Hawaiian shirts from Value Village.

2- Pizza, pop, deep fried zucchini, onion rings, french fries, and beer will cover all the major food groups.

3- People at bowling alleys have a wacky (ie totally fucked) idea of how much food you will eat. Four gargantuan trays of fried crap and four super large pizzas is not food for 17, it's food for 30. We tried to gain like twenty pounds each and still couldn't eat all that!

4- You can't cheat with automated overhead projected score keeping.

5- Aim low - figure if you are not the absolute worst bowler of all the adults, then you win. Screw that, beat the kid and you still win.

6- Do not think about who has worn those rented shoes before you. Just don't.

7- You want to surprise the two grooms during the evening? Bring out their new pirate outfits -- hat, earring, eye patch -- to add to the loud Hawaiian shirts.

8- The red striped balls are not luckier, despite what the asshole actually knocking pins down says.

9- My future father-in-law was a bowling shark in a previous life. Who knew?

10- Everybody loves prizes, especially for significant accomplishments like best dressed bowler, most stylish bowler, and worst bowler. And when the prizes including future keepsakes and heirlooms like dinosaur noses, soap that turns your hands black, and handcuffs, how could you go wrong?

... Thanks to K and G for a fun fun night!


FabuLeslie said...

Um, dinosaur noses? And you can't cheat when it's up on the screen. Ha!

Definitely sounds like my kind of bachelor party! I find that as a single woman, my tastes are definitely changing the older I get, and if anyone is ever awesome enough to change my single status, low-key will be the thing in the celebrations.

Great post.

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Sounds like a great time and very inclusive, and colorful :o)

R.J. said...

After being a semi-professional bowler almost a lifetime ago I had almost forgotten how much fun it is when you're only with family and friends. I'm glad you had a great time.

Ami said...

What a great idea!!

When my cousin and her wife got married, they did it on the sly and no one got to throw them a party.

We're going to rectify that situation here directly, though.


much more tasteful than some other bachelor parties i've witnessed...
#6 is my ick factor.
burberry and hawaiian prints? nice combo!!

all of this make for great memories.
so, the father-in-law beat you at this game, didn't he!?!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Sounds like the perfect bachelors' party -- one you won't regret in the coming years!

Vodka Logic said...

Sounds like a great idea for any Bachelor party.. good on your wedding

Vodka Logic said...

No lie the validation word for my last post was "bride" lol

Annie (Lady M) x said...

It's just wrong that you can get away with wearing an Hawiian shirt and pirates outfit without posting any pics!

Sounds like you had a great have got some great friends there..

Will Burke said...

You had me at "fried food & beer."

bmat10 said...

Glad you had a great time. Bowling simply scares me. First there is the renting of the shoes. That alone scares me away. Then there is my fear of getting my fingers stuck in the ball and I can't let go. Although that may have been a nightmare, (after awhile it all blends. Then, and I hate to admit it I can never get the timing correct. Right foot three steps swing let go? I get to the end of my stride 'if that is what it is called' and it never feels right so I end up going over the line. And I hate those overhead projectors so everybody can see your score. I was the kid at the party who got a prize for having the worst score. I don't remember if it was your party or Robert P. Obviously I never got over the trauma.

Brahm said...

Yes it was totally fun, and I do plan to post pics when I get them from friend's camera.

And did I mention was five-pin bowling? Which I think we have only in Canada. Pins are smaller, balls are smaller with no holes, silliness factor is increased.

Many comments from the crowd about being used to larger balls (yeah, sure). After my game tapered off (ie got worse) I made some comment about peaking early, which of course my fiance went to town with. So maybe not quite so G-rated after all?

marymac said...

Burberry and deep fried crap and Value Village? THAT is a party! Wish. I. Was. There.

LOVE bowling!!!

Midwestern Mama Holly said...

Sounds like FUN !!

Linda Medrano said...

I love the bowling bachelor party idea! Also love the tacky Hawaiian shirts! (Burberry indeed! Bowling???)

Gay Guy said...

Sounds like it was fun.

The big day must almost be here!!

injaynesworld said...

Sounds like a total blast. A couple of weeks ago we had a bowling birthday party for one of my friends. I hadn't bowled in 40 years. It was hysterical. And you're so right about the food!

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