November 7, 2009

Is marriage political?

Being engaged is exciting - maybe because I never really thought I would get married, maybe because I finally met the right guy, maybe because it's a new way of perceiving family, maybe because it is such a positive way of looking forward, likely all of the above and more.

Our wedding will be small and informal. Intimate. And personal, like all marriages are. And yet somehow it is also political.

This week, the same week we sent out "save the date" cards, the voters of Maine decided to disallow gay marriage, voters in Washington state voted to protect their new domestic partnership law, and Portugal's new government announced they would legalize same-sex marriage. So if marriage is on political agendas, I guess marriage is political.

I guess we are pretty advanced -- two adult men getting married is legal here in meek and mild Canada. In my non-subjective opinion this is a civil rights issues and should be a right everywhere. Period. And don't even mention "don't ask don't tell". As Canadians we also have the right to serve in the military. Not that we want to.

Our right to marry is political. Is our marriage political? Hasn't seemed that way until this week. It has been all the fun and exciting personal stuff -- it's the right time in our relationship, as we blend lives, dogs, homes, order invitations, take pictures, plan the ceremony and food, etc. We want to celebrate and formalize our lives together.

So what's the political part? Something small and benign - putting an engagement announcement in the paper. Hadn't occurred to us to even do it, and as people asked it become an item on our to-do list. As we talked about it, we both waffled, as really all our friends and family already know we are engaged, and it become one of those many non-vital 'maybe' issues. Then as we talked about it, I said what I hadn't realized I was thinking: let's do it, not only to share our news with people, but also that it is a good thing to have a same-sex wedding announcement in the paper. Let people like it, or let people be uncomfortable, either way is a step forward.

The announcement is coming. We took engagement pics today, and once they are ready, airbrushing included -- political or not, still gay and gotta look good -- the announcement is coming!


Clare and Gary said...

I hope Alfred is included in the engagement least one of them ;-) Congratulations

Kevin said...

I guess things become political when some people, having nothing better to do, worry about what other people are doing, when it does not affect them.

Brahm said...

Thanks Clare (and Gary!) - we are very excited, and yes Alfie and stepdog Quinn were included in the photos. Will post!

Susannah Morgan said...

Love, work, play...

The politics of same sex marriage are simply a result of politcians getting pressured by those mentally constipated souls who must sit in judgement of everyone but themselves.

CONGRATULTIONS! I wish you nothing but the very best from every one and every thing.

Annie (Lady M) x said...

Fabbo! I can't wait to see the pictures too. Have you got Alfred a cute outfit?!

marymac said...

Wait, sorry, I got distracted.
Don't let the douchenozzle redneck muthafuckas distract you from what is important- paper quality for those invites! I mean, love.
And I must say all this talk of marriage is depressing since I proposed to you on my blog today.
If you aren't going to be my husband, can we be best bloggy friends til we die? Distant kissing cousins? A screenplay writing team?

Brahm said...

Bloggy friends for sure... totally into the screenplay team idea...hmmm... ideas ideas...

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